


Why Not Me?

by WaywardAF67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Happy Ending, Jealous Dean Winchester, M/M, Marijuana, No Spoilers, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Sassy Castiel, set in Season 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-03-30 04:52:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13942998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaywardAF67/pseuds/WaywardAF67
Summary: Cas is tired of pining for his straight best friend. After meeting Arnie, a man who has found himself in the same predicament as Cas, the two strike up a friendship.After seeing Cas and Arnie getting closer, Dean finds himself confused and frustrated with Cas' actions.





	1. Cas' POV

**Author's Note:**

> So, if you don't like Cas dating someone who isn't Dean, this might not be your story. The first two chapters are Dean getting jealous of Cas dating someone else. I wanted a mental image of Misha and [Armie Hammer](https://www.out.com/sites/out.com/files/2017/11/28/04-armie-hammer.jpg) making out, thus, the story was born. BUT Destiel is end game, so fear not, these dumb boys figure it out. 
> 
> I got the inspiration of this relationship between Arnie and Edgar after watching the movie J. Edgar. So imagine the character of Edgar as Leo! 
> 
> This is a work in progress. I plan to post every two or three days. I have two more chapters planned, that will probably be shorter than the first two chapters. I hope you stick around for those. But as you all know, the story does what it wants. Happy Ending for sure. 
> 
> Thanks to the lovely [EllenOfOz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllenOfOz/pseuds/EllenOfOz) and [TrenchcoatBaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrenchcoatBaby/pseuds/TrenchcoatBaby) for helping me edit. And to my Fic-A-Holics to supporting me.

Cas walked in ahead of Dean. He didn’t feel like being out at the bar, but Dean was in one of his pushy moods, and it was easier to just go along with it. He didn’t want to sit at a table in the back watching Dean hit on another patron, so he took a seat at the bar. They never sat at the bar, and he had his argument queued up in case Dean protested.

“Hey, Cas. How’s it going?” Candi, the bartender asked.

“Hello, Candi,” he replied.

It was only a moment longer before Dean joined him, offering a warm greeting to his favorite bartender. They had been coming to this bar for over a year, and it seemed as though Candi was always working. If they had a free night, Dean always insisted on _the bar in Smith Center_. Cas couldn’t even recall the name, it was always just known to them as “the bar”.

No one ever talked about it, but Cas got the feeling that Candi knew he was more than human. She never complained about “over-serving” him or how there was no man alive that needed eight shots before he started to feel a buzz.

“Hey, sweetheart. How about a double Makers on the rocks for Cas and me.” Candi nodded and set to work making their drinks. Dean licked his lips and smirked at Cas. “Look at that, I think we have a rookie at the tables. I’m going to scope him out.”

Cas sighed. At least he would have Candi for company tonight. She was the one woman on staff that hadn’t ever taken Dean home, immediately causing him to think she was a lesbian. Cas believed it was because she saw Dean for what he was, a lonely man finding companionship wherever he could. If he were honest with himself, he thought she wouldn’t bring Dean home because she knew how much it would hurt him.

“When are you going to quit pining after that man, and give me a shot, huh?” Candi purred as she poured their drinks. Cas didn’t realize he had been starting at Dean from across the room. He had been stopped on his way to the pool tables in the back by his most recent conquest, Sheila. She knew Dean’s reputation around town and thought she was going to be the one to tie him down. She was a beautiful woman, with dark hair, blue eyes, and curves in all the right places. Cas almost felt embarrassed for her. Maybe in a different universe, she would have a shot at a real relationship with Dean, but not in this one.

Candi placed his drink in front of him, and gave Dean’s to the man two stools away. She spoke loud enough for Cas to hear. “This is from that handsome fella over there. He’s also pining after his straight best friend.”

The man grimaced. “Jesus, Candi, tone it down, will ya?”

She gave the man a wink and suggested he join Cas. “If you’re both sitting there miserable, might as well do it together, right?”

Cas shrugged and turned to look at the man fully. He hadn’t noticed him when he walked in, but he was stunning. He stood, and Cas gaped at his height. He was taller than Sam, maybe only an inch or two taller, but it was rare to find someone taller than the youngest Winchester. He was trim and well toned, a thick layer of stubbled covered his chiseled jaw.  With his deep blue eyes, long eyelashes, and perfectly tousled hair, Cas thought this guy could be a movie star, probably cast as Prince Charming in some remade version of Snow White.

“Looks like we’ve been outed,” the prince said, sliding onto the stool next to Cas.

Cas  raised his glass towards the man in a mock salute. “So we have.” He placed the glass back on the bar, after gulping down its entire contents, and offered his hand. “I’m Casti—Cas.”

“Hi, Casti—Cas. I’m Arnie. I’m guessing crew cut over there is the straight best friend?” He nodded in Dean’s direction.

“Yes, that’s him. Which one is yours?” Cas motioned Candi over, hoping to order another drink.

“The blonde one over there at the corner table. He was playing pool with Sheila before your boy stole her attention.”

Cas laughed bitterly. “She’s committed, I’ll give her that.”

Candi walked across the bar, bourbon bottle in hand. “You sticking with the bourbon, sugar?”

“I think I’ll switch to tequila, and please pour another drink for my friend here.”

“You got it.”

Candi lined the bar with ten shot glasses, filling them to the top. Arnie was shocked as he watched her hand the shots over to Cas, who downed them quickly.

“It’s a party trick,” Candi said. “Cas has an inhuman tolerance.”

He finished his last shot, as Arnie took a sip of his. He turned back to the corner where other-straight-best-friend was talking to Dean. The other man reminded Cas of someone, but he couldn’t place who. He stared a few moments longer and then burst out laughing.

Arnie turned, watching his friend and Dean starting a game of pool and asked, “Did I miss something?”

Cas looked back at him, shocked. “I’m sorry, it’s just your friend reminds me of the actor from the  _Titanic_ movie. I once knew someone who had extreme feelings about that movie, and its soundtrack.”

Arnie gave Castiel a soft smile. “He gets that all the time. It always embarrasses him when people say it.”

“I’ll make sure not to bring it up.”

The two spent the next several minutes making small talk. They never brought up their mutual pining, but it created a sense of camaraderie. Candi poured him two more shots, and he had started to feel a good buzz when she suggested that Arnie take him out back and help him blow off some steam.

“That is a great idea,” Arnie said, hopping off his stool. He placed his hand on Cas’ shoulder and squeezed. “Come on Cas. It’ll be great.”

Cas panicked—he’d never done such a thing. He knew Dean had “blown off some steam” in back alleys, but that was not exactly Cas’ style. Not that he even knew what his style was. Arnie was smiling at him, beautiful white teeth all but sparkling. Cas chuckled to himself about calling him Prince Charming, but that’s exactly what he was. Add in handsome, funny, and easy to talk to, and Cas’ decision was a no-brainer. “I’d love to join you out back.”

“Awesome.”

Candi handed him her cigarette pack, and they made their way outside. The night air felt good after being in the stuffy bar. Cas imagined his palms were sweaty. Angels don't perspire, but if he did, he’s confident that would’ve been a reason to be nervous. It must have shown, because Arnie asked him if it was his first time. Cas nodded.

“That’s okay. It’s easy. You just suck as hard as you can until your lungs fill up. Hold it for as long as you can, and when you feel like you can’t breathe, you blow it out.”

“Oh, I thought I was, um,” Cas tailed off, watching him light what he suspected was a joint, as Dean would call it.

Arnie took a hit of the joint and stared at Cas with a confused look. “You thought wha—oh my god, Cas. Did you think I was going to give you a blowjob?” Arnie choked, and a massive cloud of smoke wafted from his mouth.

Cas felt embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I thought. I didn’t—I’ll just go back inside.”

Arnie reached for his hand, “No don’t. Please. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I mean it’s not like I wouldn't blow you. You’re fucking hot. I just kind of figured you're too hung up on crew cut. Here, hit this a few times and you’ll feel much better.”

Cas blushed as he took a long pull from the joint, holding it in as long as he could, coughing harshly as he exhaled. He’d never been called  _fucking hot_ before, and he had to admit it felt good.

“Again,” Arnie demanded. “If your alcohol tolerance is that high, I bet you’re going to need more than just that one.”

Cas took the man’s advice and took a few more drags. He was pleasantly surprised when he started to feel the drug take effect. He passed back to Arnie. “I’m sorry I misunderstood—”

Arnie cut him off. “Nothing to be sorry about.”

“I’ve never had fellatio before, and I’ve known Dean to—it doesn’t matter I was foolish.”

Arnie stepped closer to him, making Cas tilt his head up. The other man brushed a stray hair from his forehead. “You don’t seem like the kind of guy to jump into alleyway blowjobs. How about we get to know each other before offering up fellatio… preferably someplace a little more private.”

Cas stared at him. It sounded like Arnie was proposing they try out dating. It seemed like a bad idea, two men in love with someone else, attempting to start something. But somehow, he thought, they would both benefit from it. Maybe if only to help them move on from the ones they can’t have. It would be nice to experience companionship, Cas thought.

Cas was smiling at the taller man, as he sucked on the end of the joint. “Come here,” he said in that strange way of talking without letting the air of your lungs. He placed his hand on Cas’ neck and brought their lips close enough to touch.

“Inhale,” he said before blowing the smoke into Cas’ mouth. The angel did as he was told and breathed in the second-hand smoke. It felt oddly intimate and somewhat arousing. He held the smoke as long as he could before blowing it back out in Arnie's face. Cas chucked and apologized. He was feeling light and giddy. Arnie had a dopey grin and giggled as the smoke clouded around him.

Cas suddenly realized how closely they were standing—barely a breath apart. Arnie still had his hand on Cas’ neck and began to stroke the fine hairs at the nape of Cas’ neck.

“Can I kiss you?” Arnie asked.

Cas was nervous, but responded without hesitation. “Yes, please.”

They were already so close, only needing to stretch their necks before their lips were brushing against each other. Cas felt like he was floating, and it was the best feeling he had since flying. He took a step closer, planning to deepen the kiss, when the door to the bar banged open. Instinctively, he turned pushing Arnie behind him and dropped his blade into his right hand. Holding it out in front of him, ready to strike.

Cas breathed a sigh of relief and lowered his blade a few inches when he realized it was Dean. “Dammit, Dean. I almost stabbed you.”

“Yeah, I see that, Cas. You wanna stow the blade?” Dean swiped at his mouth, a clear indicator that he was stressed. “What the fuck are you doing out here anyway?”

He and Dean were having a stare off when Cas heard Arnie snort behind him. He was straining not to giggle. Cas turned, noticing Arnie was sitting on the ground. He must have pushed him too hard, when he moved Arnie behind him and knocked him over. Cas cracked up laughing. He was defending his Prince Charming, and still managed to throw the man to the ground.  

“Jesus, Cas, are you stoned?” Dean demanded.

Cas was laughing hard. He grasped Arnie’s hand, pulling the man off the ground. Dean scowled at both of them, and grabbed the joint out of Arnie’s hand, “Give me that.” Dean made like he was going to drop it on the ground, but hesitated. He shrugged and sucked down what was left, before dropping it and crushing the remains with his boot.

“Inside, both of you.” Dean yanked the door open and motioned them in.

As they made their way across the bar to the pool tables, Dean started lecturing Cas about taking off without letting him know. Cas just stood there taking the lecture, choking back his laughter.

Dean got in Cas’ face, pushing his index finger into his chest. “This isn’t funny, you dick. I turn around, and you’re gone. You can’t keep disappearing on me Cas, you’re going to send me to an early grave.”

Cas was grinning. “Given your line of work, I think you’ve outlived the ‘early grave’ stage.”

“I can’t fucking deal with you like this.” Dean stalked off to join Arnie's friend, continuing their game of pool. Cas and Arnie followed Dean, like two teens that just got grounded.

Candi walked to where all four men were gathered around the pool table, offering both Cas and Armie a glass of water. “For the cottonmouth,” she said.

Cas hadn’t realized he was thirsty until he guzzled down half the glass in one go. “Feeling better?” she asked, winking at them.

Arnie stage whispered to her. “He thought I was going to give him a blowie.” Cas chortled.

“You ass,” Cas said. “You weren’t supposed to tell anyone that.”

Arnie put on a mock straight face.“Sorry.”

Arnie’s friend was glaring at them when he asked, “Did you get high without me, you asshole?”

“Sorry Edgar, I was helping Cas relax. Oh yeah, Cas this is Edgar. Edgar, Cas.”

“Alright Cheech and Chong, why don’t you sit down before you hurt yourselves,” Dean added.

Without a response, Arnie grabbed Cas’ hand and pulled him towards the stool in the corner, just a few feet away from the pool table. They watched Edgar and Dean racked up another game. Arnie sat down with his legs spread wide, pulling Cas back against his body. “Is this okay?” Arnie asked. Cas nodded and placed his hand on Arnie's thigh.

“I never smoke with Edgar because I get too horny. Shit, sorry, that was probably too much info, right?”

“Mmmh. No, it makes sense. Everything feels so, so, much.”

Arnie kissed the side of Cas’ neck. He closed his eyes, and tilted his head to the side, offering himself further. He ran his hand up Arnie's thigh. When he opened his eyes, he saw both Dean and Edgar staring at them. They must have been acting inappropriately because both men were scowling at them. They seemed annoyed.

“I think maybe we have an audience,” Cas mumbled.

“And? How many times have we had to watch them flirt, makeout, and ultimately leave with other women? Fuck ‘em.”

Cas agreed wholeheartedly. He couldn’t count how many times Dean ditched him or Sam after making out against a wall with some random waitress.

“Yes, fuck them indeed.”

Cas approached Dean, ready to ask him if he could have the keys to the Impala. Apparently, Cas also got horny when he smoked, and was looking for some privacy. He didn’t plan on going anywhere, he just wanted to make out with Arnie without their friends staring at them. Before Cas could ask him for the keys, Dean commented on Edgar looking like Jack Dawson. “It’s a good thing Balthazar isn’t around. He’d probably smite the guy on principle.”

Cas laughed. “You’re right, I think he would have. Arnie said he gets compared to that actor all the time, and it embarrasses him.”

“What a loser, I’d be using that to my advantage every night.”

“Of course you would,” Cas sighed. “Can I borrow the keys to your car?” Cas looked  back at a smiling Arnie.

 “Are you fucking kidding me, Cas? I’m not giving you the keys to my car, so you can go bang some rando. What’s wrong with you?” Dean clenched his jaw and straightened his shoulders, challenging Cas to back down from his request.

Cas was feeling too good to put up with Dean’s double standards. “Oh, it’s fine for you and Sam, and even your parents to fuck in the car. But not me, got it.” Cas turned to walk away.

“Stop acting like a child Cas—” Dean reached out for Castiel’s arm, only to have the angel turn on him and crowd him up against a wall.  

“I’m just doing what you do, every other weekend. Or do you not think I deserve the same respite? Would that inconvenience you too much, in case you needed me?”

Cas stared at Dean unblinking, waiting for his response. He didn’t like to push Dean, but he always knew which buttons to press to get him fired up in a hurry.

“Cas,” Dean growled.

“Stop it, Dean. I know you think you get a say in the decisions I make, but you don’t. If you won’t let me have the keys to your car,” Cas lowered his voice so only Dean could hear him, “a place where I feel safe, and is warded against threats, I’ll find somewhere else. How’s  _that_ for a doing something stupid?”

Cas pulled away from Dean, heading back to a confused Arnie. He slid his hand up Arnie’s arm, gently gripping his bicep. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Cas, that looked pretty intense. You sure you want to—”

“Yes.” Cas interrupted. “I’m sorry. Yes, I’m sure. I’m having too nice of a time to let Dean and his stupid rules ruin my fun.”

Arnie pulled him in for a quick kiss. “If you’re sure. I don’t live far from here. We can walk. I mean if that’s okay. I don’t want to push you.”

“I think I might like it if you pushed me.”

“Oooh, so you’re a little kinky. I like it.”

Just like that, all of Cas’ anger melted away. This didn’t have to do with angels or demons, or his feelings for Dean and constant rejection from the man. This was one of the very few times Cas decided to do something just because he wanted to. Arnie was kind and sweet, he made Cas feel special and desired. It was a huge bonus that he was hot with a fantastic body. They hadn’t even done anything, and Cas was already turned on.

They stopped and paid their tab with Candi before walking out into the night. If either of them bothered to look back, they would have noticed their friends gaping after them. Arnie was right, the walk to his apartment was only a few minutes, but it felt like a lifetime to Cas. He was sure he was feeling aroused because of the sensation the marijuana gave him, but this was the first time he was going to sleep with someone because he wanted to. Not because he thought it was expected of him, but because it was his decision. He was buzzing with anticipation.

They would have gotten to the complex much faster if they didn’t have to stop every few minutes so Cas could kiss the breath out of Arnie. He pushed himself against the other man, and ground his half-hard cock against the taller man’s leg. A block from him home, Arnie turned Cas and pushed him against the closest building, not caring who saw. He kissed Cas hard and deep. Their cocks didn’t quite line up because of the height difference, so Arnie bent his knees dropping himself low enough to grind against Cas as he placed kisses all along his neck.

“You’re killing me, Arnie.”

“Hhhm, and we haven’t even started yet.”

Cas wanted to call Arnie a tease as he pulled away, but that would imply he wasn’t enjoying the game they were playing. Keeping their distance, but always taking a break to make sure their erections didn’t flag.

By the time they stumbled into Arnie’s apartment, they were back to giggling. They hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other on the walk over, and that only intensified once they were alone. Cas wasn’t shy or timid, as he had been with April.The second the door was closed, he wrapped his fingers in the front of Arnie’s shirt, pulling him into a crushing kiss. They were moaning and shuffling towards the couch when Arnie pulled back.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on.”

Cas was not pleased with the break in their activities and plopped on the couch like a petulant child.

“Is this okay? I get the sense you’re not very experienced, and I don’t want you doing something you will regret because you’re mad at Dean.”

Cas rolled his eyes and pulled Arnie down next to him. “This has nothing to do with Dean, Arnie. I very much want this, with you. Now hurry up and get out of these clothes, before the high wears off.”

The taller man chuckled leaning down to kiss Cas. He was more gentle than he had been all night. Stroking along Cas’ forehead, down his neck, tracing his cheekbone with his thumb. Cas leaned into his touch. It felt good to have someone’s hands on him. Someone who wasn’t planning to torture him, or use those same hands to harm him or the ones he loved. It dawned on Cas that Arnie might be using him as an outlet for his feelings for Edgar, but Cas was okay with that. This wasn’t going to be a relationship, at his most hopeful Cas thought they could be a friend with benefits. But for now, just for tonight, he was going to be the one that got to make Cas feel good, and he was glad it was going to be Arnie. Someone who, within only a few hours, understood a part of him that no one else could. A part of himself that he had kept hidden away, afraid that if Sam or Dean learned of his love, what that might do to their relationship.

The slower pace gave Cas a chance to feel every brush of flesh against flesh. He felt Arnie’s hand against his chest as he unbuttoned his shirt, felt his hot breath as he hovered over Cas’ nipple, teasing him, before taking the sensitive skin into his mouth. They took their time slowly undressing each other, and it was glorious. With every touch, there was a lingering tingle on his skin.

Arnie was gorgeous; his smile was soft but bright. It made Cas feel at ease, as if the other man was enjoying taking care of him. If the erection tenting his boxers was any indication, he would say his partner was pleased with himself.

Cas touched every inch of Arnie, as he too was being touched. He buried his hands in the man's longish hair as Arnie kissed his way down Cas’ body. He was sitting on the edge of the couch when he felt fingers tug at the waistband of his boxers. Arnie had dropped to his knees in front of the sofa and looked up at Cas with a mischievous glint in his eye. He smiled broadly and shook his head.

“Would it be okay if we moved this to the bedroom? You can stop me if you get uncomfortable.”

Cas squeaked. “Why would I stop you?” He was truly confused by the question.  

“Well, I hope you won’t, but I need you to know that you can.”

“Right, I understand. Consent is ‘sexy.’”

Arnie smiled. “I think it’s adorable when you use air quotes.”

The other man reached out and pulled Cas from the couch, leading him to the bedroom. The room was warm and inviting, with grey and red plaid sheets. Arnie crawled on the bed, patting the space next to him, begging Cas to join. They settled in, making themselves comfortable and went back to the sweet kissing from before. Arnie trailed his hand down Cas’ torso, hesitating before cupping his erection. He stroked over the engorged flesh through the cotton of his boxers. He ran his fingers up and down Cas’ length, tracking the outline of his tip. Cas moaned as he felt the fabric rub against his slit. Arnie hadn’t even touched him yet, and already he felt like he was on fire. He longed for more, bucking up his hips, pushing his cock harder into Arnie's hand. “More,” he demanded greedily.

“You’re sure?” Arnie asked, and Cas quickly nodded.

In one swift movement, he slid Cas’s boxers down his legs. Cas was still feeling high and thought if Arnie didn’t move a little faster this would be over before it started. He felt everything so intensely and suspected he’d be coming soon, with or without Arnie’s mouth on him.

Keeping with his pattern, Arnie continued to tease Cas, slowly kissing his way to his eager cock. Seeing such an attractive man on his knees before him made Cas groan and cling to Arnie's shoulder. Arnie licked at his hip bones and kissed across his pelvis to reach the other hip. When he felt his chin brush against the head of his dick, Cas gasped. “Please, Arnie.”

“Hmm, that’s what I wanted to hear. You going to come in my mouth, Cas?”

“Yes, Yes. Please, Arnie, make me come.”

Arnie locked eyes with Cas as he stuck his tongue out and licked his erection. It was just a light press, but it felt so good Cas wanted to cry. The one time he had sex before, it never felt like this. He had never been entirely turned on with April, but with Arnie, every cell in his body was screaming for release.

As Arnie wrapped his perfect lips around the head of Cas’ cock, the angel let his vessel take over. Letting himself feel his racing heart, as he gasped for air. For the first time in his existence, he shut his mind off and just focused on the sensations. The wet heat wrapped around his most sensitive part. The beating in his chest, the dizzy feeling from his rapid shallow breaths. Before long, Arnie went from slow, short bobs, to quickly taking in most of Cas’ length, working the rest with his hand. Seemingly picking up pace as each second passed. Cas was close, he felt like his mind was disconnected from his body, and he was going to float back into the Empty when suddenly he felt a heavy pressure in the space just below his balls. He gasped and cried out, “Fuck.” He felt his cock spasm as every limb began to tingle and he started to shake. He pushed into Arnie's mouth and at once felt the tension snap, and a euphoria washed over his body. He was vaguely aware of panting Arnie’s name, and soon felt something warm splash across his spent cock.

It took him several moments to come back to himself and realize that the wetness he felt was Arnie's release.

“There he is,” Arnie said.

Cas looked over, with an owlish expression. Arnie was next to him, stroking his hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry. I believe it’s customary to warn a person before you—”

“Don’t be sorry Cas. I told you I wanted you to.”

“Yes, but I could have at least warned you.”

Arnie chuckled. “Trust me, there was plenty warning.”

Cas ducked his head, embarrassed.

“Hey, don’t be shy. I liked it.” Arnie turned Cas’ face toward him and gently pressed against his lips. “Was that really your first time?” Cas only nodded. “I’m not fishing for a compliment here, but the suspense is killing me. How was it?”

Castiel laughed. Arnie had such an easy way about him. Even talking about taboo things was easy. Nothing like Dean, where you had to drag every emotion out of him. “Truthfully, I was not expecting it to live up to the hype. I’m glad I was wrong.”

“Not exactly a compliment, but I’ll take it.”

Cas came up, resting on his elbow. He grabbed Arnie by the back of the neck and pulled him into a kiss. As he pulled away, he smiled, pleased with the joke he was about to make. “It was the best blow job I’ve ever had.” Arnie choked on his unexpected laughter.

“You’re not how I expected you to be. I hadn’t imagined you’d be so, I don’t know, light. At first you were so serious, and a little uptight.”

“Would it be too cliche to say that you bring out a different side of me?”

“There’s the ego stroke I was looking for.” Cas huffed a laugh at Arnie’s quip. “Seriously Cas, I am happy to hear that. You seem like the kind of man who could use more levity in his life.”

Cas tried to keep his expression from turning somber. They were having fun, and he didn’t want the reality of his life to ruin the moment. “You’re not wrong.”

Arnie made a quick escape from the bed. “Listen, I’m starving. I don’t know if you planned on heading home or if you wanted to stay. But let me feed you before you decide.”

Cas had a flashback to April feeding him and offering him a warm bed, but this situation was nothing like that. It was possible that Arnie was some form of monster, but this time Cas didn’t have to sleep or eat. He wasn’t as vulnerable as he had been with April. He knew it was a risk, but didn’t want go back to the bunker. He wanted to spend one night pretending he was a normal man. Maybe even learn a thing or two from Arnie. He’d have to suffer through the taste of molecules, but he did that often enough with Dean that it wasn’t a big deal. Cas slid out of bed and wrapped his arms around Arnie. “I’d love to stay.” He paused before adding, “You know, I’ve also never  _given_ a blow job.” He winked at the other man, though his whole face scrunched up, instead of just one eye as he intended.

“This is my best day.” Arnie was giddy as he pulled Cas towards the kitchen.

Cas suffered through a plate of nachos. He was please that Arnie choose a food he was used to eating. Dean favored nachos, almost as much as burgers. After their snack, and a very domestic scene of brushing their teeth next to each other in the bathroom, they headed back to the bedroom. According to Arnie, Cas was a fast learner. He was thoroughly impressed with Cas’ lack of a gag reflex. Cas was also pleased to learn that giving pleasure was as enjoyable as getting. He was happy to have this experience under his belt. Now he had something good to associate with sex. He planned on putting his experience with April out of his mind, thinking of this as his real first time.

As he lay there with Arnie sleeping on his chest, he wondered if he had a preference. Maybe being with Arnie was so much better than April, because he was a man? The not dying after, of course, played a huge part in his contentment. But during the act itself, he enjoyed himself much more. Gender wasn’t something he identified with. He was in a male vessel, so it was easier to refer to himself as a man, but gender was a construct humans made up. It’s easy to see, now, that he does prefer the male form more than female. He pondered if he would consider himself gay, or bisexual with a preference. There was a world of labels out there and he thought he would drive himself mad trying to fit into a category. This was something he didn’t understand about human sexuality. Why were there so many labels? Why couldn’t you just sleep with and love who you want without having to identify as something? Couldn’t you just be you, attracted to another person? It seemed like it should be that simple. It frustrated him further knowing that these labels came about as a way for people to band together after being persecuted for their actions, in the name of his father. He quietly chuckled to himself, wondering what people would say if they knew God didn’t care who you slept with, as He wasn’t even a he.

He lay there for hours thinking about humanity and all their flaws. He wondered what it would be like if Gadreel hadn’t failed, and humans were perfect. Though, he never thought  that was ever in the cards. Free will was too important to his father. It was something Cas had fought for. Something he didn’t exactly believe in, but he cared so deeply for Sam and Dean that he fought beside them defending it. As time went on, and decisions were easier to make, he understood the value of free will. He was glad that even in those early days, he knew free will had to be important. Dean wouldn’t have fought so vehemently if it weren’t. Of course, that led to think about all Dean’s flaws and attributes, as he was the ultimate representation of humanity to Cas, even after all this time.

There was a part of him that ached at the thought of Dean. Arnie was great, and he had enjoyed their night more than any night in a very long time. But it still hurt knowing that he would never be able to drop to his knees and make Dean moan his name the way Arnie had. He suspected Arnie would feel the same way about Edgar at some point. Or maybe he was better at dealing with his feelings. Maybe he knew himself well enough to know the longing only lead to heartache. When Arnie woke, he planned on having a frank conversation with him, because that was something he could do with the man. Ask him if it was safe for them to see each other again. Cas wanted to, thought it would be fun to explore his new-found preference, but also worried that this could lead to more pain.


	2. Dean's POV

Dean lay in bed staring at the ceiling. He was pissed at himself, and even more so at Cas. It’s like the dumbass wanted to get murdered again. They hadn’t even tested that Armie douche to see what kind of monster he was. Not that the guy had to be a monster to want to sleep with Cas. He saw the appeal, the nerdy accountant thing probably really did it for some guys. But did he know how funny or sweet Cas was? He probably just wanted to get his dick wet, and abandon Cas on the side of the road after all was said and done. Dean shuddered, trying to avoid thinking about what had been done. What might  _still_ be happening. He checked his phone again, 8AM. He had been debating with himself for the last hour over texting Cas, asking if he needed a ride back to the bunker. It’s not like he would be waking the guy up. Or maybe Cas was so exhausted from all the... doing, that he let his vessel sleep. He only did that when he was low on grace, but it seemed like post-sex might be different.

Dean was going to drive himself crazy trying to understand the logistics of Cas’ vessel and sex. He simply ignored how weird it was to be thinking so hard about his best friend having sex with a man. It wasn’t because his partner was of the same sex, it was that Cas never seemed interested in—  _that_. It actually didn’t shock him at all that Cas was interested in men. He’d heard Cas grumble more than once about humans limiting themselves sexually. What did surprise him was how careless Cas had been. He could have been walking into a trap when they went out behind the bar. There could have been a nest of vamps, a group of shifters, a gaggle of Rugaru. He was trying to forget that Cas could see those monsters under their human skin. He was mad at Cas for some reason, and his carelessness made the most sense. There was no other reason to be upset about him going home with an attractive stranger, other than he couldn’t bear to lose his best friend again.

It was almost 9am before Dean reached over and grabbed his phone. He knew Cas was smart enough to not let tall, dark, and handsome drive him all the way to the bunker, so that left two options. Cas having the guy drop him off at a strange location, pretending it was where he lived, or walking all the way home. And since Cas wasn’t exactly great at lying, he figure the angel would choose the latter.

_8:57am >> You need a ride home?_

_9:03am << Hello, Dean. I am going to walk._

_9:04am >> Bullshit. I’ll pick you up at the bar in an hour._

He didn’t wait for Cas to respond before getting up to take a quick shower. It took Dean half an hour to get to the bar. He figured that would give Cas time to say his goodbyes. He didn’t think Cas would sneak out without saying a word, though that’s usually what Dean did.

He had been waiting in the parking lot of the bar for half an hour when Cas came around the corner. Cas made Dean wait thirty minutes, and the son of a bitch was smiling with his hair disheveled. There was no doubt in Dean’s mind that Cas had gotten lucky last night. He should be happy for his friend, but that same anger from earlier hummed just beneath the surface.

The door squeaked as Cas pulled it open. “Thank you for picking me up, Dean. It would have taken forever to walk home.”

Dean preened slightly at Cas calling the bunker home, temporarily forgetting his anger. “We’ve all done the walk of shame, Cas, but no one deserves living in that moment all day.”

“Walk of shame?”

“Yeah you know, when you sneak out in the morning. That mixture of feelings, half proud half regretful.”

Cas stared at him owlishly. “I have no regret or shame about what we did last night...or this morning.” A smirk creeped across his lips.

Dean cringed. Confirmation that while he sat in the bar parking lot, bored out of his mind, Cas was busy getting fucked. Or maybe he was the one doing the fucking?

“Dean!”

“Huh- uh, what?”

“I asked if you often felt shame after your sexual encounters?”

Dean nearly swerved into the other lane. “What the fuck Cas, you don’t just ask someone that?”

“You’re the one that brought it up.”

“Yeah, well I’m the one shutting it down.”

Dean drove back to the bunker, blaring  _Ramble On._ As the song ended Cas leaned forward and turned down the volume. “Dean, you’re acting like an ass. Is everything okay?”

“I’m not acting like an ass, you’re the ass.”

“Yes, because I’m the one acting like a toddler that needs a nap.”

Dean turned to glare at Cas. He felt his anger melting away. It always made him happy when Cas called him on his shit, and he wasn’t wrong, Dean was, indeed, being an ass.

Dean’s voice softens. “I just didn’t get any sleep last night. Did you even check to see if he was a demon?”

“Of course I did, Dean. If you recall, I can see demon faces. I also can sense the supernatural. But I tested him with holy water and silver as well. I’m not an imbecile.”

Dean didn’t say anything, he just nodded in Cas’ direction, glad the angel wasn’t as careless as he first suspected.

It was another night where they had no leads and nothing to do, so Dean suggested they watch a movie. They had finally upgraded to a TV and couch. Dean was shocked when Cas asked him to borrow a pair of track pants and a t-shirt. The angel stated he wanted to get more comfortable. He had suggested a new wardrobe to Cas on more than one occasion, and he wondered why now was the time he decided to make the change. Was it because of that Armie guy? Surely not, Dean thought. Why would he ignore Dean for years, but one night with a stranger makes him change his persona?

The movie played on with Dean playing little attention. He thought about the night before and his conversation with Edgar. He seemed pissed off the rest of the night. After Cas and his friend left, Edgar told Dean all about the other guy. By the end of the night, Dean suspected the guy was harboring a pretty big crush on his best friend. He wondered why he didn't just go for it? Clearly the other man liked guys, and they were already best friends, so adding sex only seemed to add ice-cream to the pie. He thought maybe Edgar wasn’t into the idea of anal sex, but there were other ways. He seemed to have a big enough crush, that the mechanics of how the sex worked didn’t seem all that important. Maybe it was some rom-com cliche reason, like he didn’t want to ruin their friendship by confessing his love.

Before Dean knew it, he spent the entire length of the movie wondering why Edgar and Arnie—yes, that was his name—were not together. He even thought about asking Cas, but decided against it. He didn’t want to seem obsessed with the idea. Maybe if Cas brought up the pair, he would ask about it then.

Sam had wandered off to his room not long after the movie was over, leaving Dean and Cas alone on the couch. Dean was tired from his lack of sleep the previous night, and feeling inexplicably raw. He knew he overreacted with Cas earlier in the day, and wanted to apologize.

“Uh, Cas?” He smoothed down the hairs at the nape of his neck. “I just wanted to--” Castiel’s phone buzzed interrupting Dean’s train of thought. Cas dug in his coat and quickly, and without looking silenced the buzzing.  “I’m sorry, please continue.”

Dean gave a half smile, “I was just saying--”  _Buzz Buzz_

“It’s fine, Dean, keep going.” Cas this time pulled out the phone, as if to turn the vibrations off.

_Buzz Buzz_

“Apologies, just one second.”

_Buzz Buzz_

_Buzz Buzz_

Dean set his jaw. “Are we good?” Cas nodded. “Okay then, I’m sorry for this morning, I was being a dick and—”

_Buzz Buzz_

“Jesus fucking Christ, Cas, who is blowing up your phone?”

Castiel looked at Dean, pleading with his eyes. “I truly am sorry, Dean. It appears that Arnie had an ‘autocorrect fail’.” Cas used his free hand to make finger quotes as he used his other to respond to Arnie.

“It seems that his phone insisted he meant duck. So he rectified the mistake by sending me a picture of baby ducks.” Cas turned his screen to show Dean the image of the baby ducks. Under that was Cas’ response gif of a laughing baby. When did Cas start using gifs, Dean wondered. And why was Arnie talking about fucking to Cas? It was the only word that ever corrected to duck.

“Well you have fun with your ducks, I’m off to bed.” Dean stood to walk out.

“Dean,” Cas called after him. “Thank you for your apology. I realized you were worried. I didn’t intend that.”

“It’s fine, Cas. Forget it.” Dean walked out of the room before he had to hear anymore about Arnie and his stupid baby ducks.

 

***

 

The following morning, Dean was having a small breakfast of cereal when Sam joined him. “You and Cas fighting again?” Sam asked.

“No,” Dean mumbled.

“Right. It’s just you seemed tense around each other last night,” Sam continued to press.

Dean looked up from his cereal. “I was just being a dick. We’re good.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Dean was grateful for Cas walking in, saving him from a comeback. He was quick witted when mouthing off to the monster of the week, but when it came to Sam, his comebacks were always lacking.

“I’m heading into town for some items,” Cas announced. “Do you need anything while I’m out?”

Sam glared at the empty milk jug next to Dean. “Can you grab some milk? Maybe two gallons this time?”

Dean was suspicious of Cas’ trip into town...he hated shopping. It was so bad that he often tried to bribe Dean to go to the store for him on the rare occasion he needed something. Since being human, Cas liked taking showers, but Dean picked up his fancy body wash on their supply run two days prior.

“We were just out, Cas. There is only one reason you’d be out of body wash this fast, and I will kick your ass if you’re using that expensive shit to––”

“Dean!” Sam interrupted.

Cas rolled his eyes. “I am not using my expensive body wash to––” He waves his hand around the front of his trousers. “Do you want anything or not?”  
Face flushing, Dean jumped from the table. “I’ll go with you, it’s better than sitting here with our thumbs up our asses. I mean, not literally in our asses. I just mean, you know, a metaphor or whatever. I’ll just... Just let me grab my jacket.” Talking about Cas’ masturbation habits was just this side of uncomfortable, and he needed to escape.

By the time Dean was back from grabbing his coat, Cas had already abandoned the kitchen. Dean made his way to the garage to find Cas standing beside the Impala. The angel looked almost dejected, and Dean wondered if maybe Cas didn’t want him to go.

“Hey man, if you wanted to go out alone I can just––” Dean trailed off hooking his thumb over his shoulder.

“No, I’d actually like if you accompanied me. I just...” Cas paused, lowering his gaze.  “I don’t want you to make fun of me.”

Dean was about to deny that he would make fun of Cas for his shopping trip, but of course that wasn’t true. He laughed at Cas’ expense sometimes, and even at times seemed like an outright bully. He often forgot that Cas wasn’t human, and that experiences were different for him. He wasn’t a baby in a trench coat, but he only had a few years worth of human experience. Dean suddenly felt very small.

“I promise to not make fun of you.”

Cas gave him a suspicious look. “If you do, I’m hot wiring your car and leaving you in town.”

Dean covered one of the car’s mirrors, as if he was covering her ears. “It’s okay, Baby. I won’t let the grumpy angel hurt you.” He was hoping to make Cas smile, and beamed when Cas chuckled.

They both climbed in the car, making themselves comfortable for the trip. Dean turned to Cas. “You know, I have to know where we are going to get us there.”

Cas let out an exasperated sigh. “Target.”

Dean started the car and made his way out of the garage. They were turning onto the main road when he asked, “Why were you so embarrassed to go to Target?”

Cas fiddles with the hem of his coat. “I want to get something new to wear. I have a date, of sorts, with Arnie tomorrow and I don’t want to wear the same clothes.”

Dean wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but a new wardrobe wasn’t it. Of course it made sense, if he was going to date the guy he couldn’t wear the same clothes everyday. Or he could, and just pretend to be a businessman, but Arnie seemed like the kind of guy that would notice the same suit being worn over and over again.

“I know I can be a dick sometimes, Cas, but damn give me some credit. I’m not going to give you shit for wanting to impress your new guy.”

“He’s not  _my guy,_ we’re just going out again. Just, having fun, as you’d say.”

“I don’t know man, a second date so quickly seems like it’s a little more than just fun. You let him know that’s what you’re thinking? Trust me buddy, you gotta let ‘em know upfront if you don’t plan on stickin’ around.” Dean gets a far away look in his eye, but quickly shakes it off. “It can get ugly if you don’t.”

“It’s not exactly a date. I’m just meeting him at the bar again. He and Edgar are going for a drink tonight, and he asked if I wanted to come out. I was planning to ask you and Sam to join us.”

Dean slightly nods his head, mouth dipping into a frown, it’s a look he often uses to say  _okay, why not?_ “I’ll go if Sam does.”

“Good. You and Edgar seemed to have hit it off the other night.”

Dean shrugged. “Yeah, he’s alright. Once you get past him looking like the dude from  _Titanic_.”

This was Dean’s chance, it would be easy to bring up the relationship between Edgar and Arnie and not make it seem strange. What was strange was that Dean was struggling to let it go. He didn’t understand why he was so caught up in worrying about Edgar’s feelings for Arnie, but he had to know. “So what’s up with those two anyway? It seems like Edgar’s carrying a torch for Arnie. They have a history or something?”

Dean startled when Cas laughed suddenly. “No. Not at all. Quite the opposite, actually.”

“What do you mean? Arnie’s the one with the school girl crush?”

“It’s far more than just a crush. Arnie has strong feelings for Edgar, but he’s straight, so––” Cas didn’t finish his thought.

The traffic was light but Dean slowed as he drove through town, wanting to finish the conversation before going into the store. He couldn’t decide what he was more shocked by, the fact that Arnie was in love with his best friend, or that Cas knew that and was still okay with dating him. Arnie had seem so distant, almost cold with Edgar at the bar, while Edgar couldn’t keep his eyes off his friend and Cas. From Dean’s perspective it seemed obvious that Edger was jealous. Maybe Dean was onto something earlier when he thought they were living a Rom-Com. But instead of Edgar not wanting to confess his affections, in fear of losing their friendship, it seemed as though he might not even know how he feels for Arnie.

Dean straightened in his seat. “Are you sure you want to get involved in that mess, Cas? I mean, if the guy is practically in love with his best friend, where do you stand?”

Cas turned and looked out the window. “I told you, Dean. He and I are just spending time together. We like each other. I understand how he feels.”

Of all the answers Dean was expecting, this wasn’t it. It’s not like Cas had much time to get to know the guy. Even if all they did was talk, which it was obvious they did more than that, how could Cas understand him after only a few hours together? It took Cas ten years to figure Dean out, and there were still piles of things Cas didn’t understand about him. He felt angry again, and maybe slightly jealous that Arnie was that easy to know. That he was able to spend one night with Cas, and all of a sudden, the angel had a PhD in all things Arnie.

There was a sudden tension in the car that Dean couldn’t wait to escape. Thankfully, they were already turning into the store parking lot. Dean pulled in to the first available space near the back. Cas must have felt the unease as well, because he hopped out before Dean had even turned the car off.

The fresh air and distance instantly made him feel better. He was being dramatic and he knew it. Cas was his best friend, and while the angel might have gotten an easy read on Arnie, it wasn’t like he knows Cas, not really. So maybe they have a few things in common, and Dean still couldn’t figure out what that might be. But Arnie didn’t know Cas. Didn’t know that he was an angel, didn’t know the struggles Cas had endured, he didn’t know that Cas rebelled from Heaven because he believed in Dean and his mission. The bastard didn’t know how Cas liked his coffee, or that when he ordered food at restaurants, he would always get something he knew Dean would eat. He didn’t know the difference between Cas’  _you’re an idiot, Dean_ squint or his  _I don’t understand that reference_ squint. He couldn’t tell the difference between Cas’ smiles. The ones that humored you when you made a bad joke, or the smiles that meant everything was fine. The grins that said  _you’re my family_ , or the gummy smile that said  _that was actually funny._ He would never know Cas’  _I love you_ smile.

“Dean?”

He looked up and saw Cas staring at him, holding up two different shirts. “What?”

“I asked which shirt you liked better. Are you okay?”

Dean blinked, coming back to himself and focusing on what was in Cas’ hand. “Yeah, I‘m good. Try them both on.”

Cas just shrugged and threw both shirts in the cart. Dean hadn’t noticed walking through the store or following Cas to the clothing section. While he was busy cataloguing all of Cas’ expressions, the angel was busy building a hunter’s wardrobe. Did Cas even want to dress like him and Sam? What if Cas wanted to be a little more fashion-conscious like he was when he was Emmanuel, wearing slacks and Dad sweaters.

He had let himself zone out again, and soon he was standing outside of a dressing room. When Cas stepped out, he was wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and an unbuttoned blue and grey plaid shirt. He had on a v-neck grey shirt under the plaid and he looked amazing.

“Does this look okay?”

“Uh, yeah. Looks great,” Dean choked out.

Cas gave him a curious look before lifting the shirt, turning around, and gazing over his shoulder to look at his ass in the full length mirror. Dean felts his mouth go dry as Cas gave a contented hum, and dropped his shirt. He didn’t say a word as he walked back into the dressing room. The asshole was checking to see if his butt looked good while Dean was right next to him having a midlife crisis.

Suddenly his anger at Cas for hooking up with Arnie made so much more sense. He wasn’t mad that Cas wasn’t being safe...he was mad that Cas was showing interest in anyone. But further than that, he wasn’t even mad at all.

He was jealous that it wasn’t towards him.

Jealous of all the texting with the dumb little gifs. Jealous of Arnie’s ability to just see Cas as just another man. Jealous of Cas checking to see if his ass looked good, not for him, but for someone else.


	3. Cas' POV / Dean's POV

Cas loaded his bags into the back of the Impala. He planned on just buying a single outfit, but Dean had convinced him that he might as well get a couple, even encouraging him to try other options, such as Dad Sweaters. Cas had no idea what fatherhood had to do with knit garments, but the sweater Dean suggested was soft and cozy. Not that he ever felt cold, but it seemed logical to dress appropriately for the season. 

The drive back to the bunker was strange. Dean had been quiet and distant since they walked in the store. It wasn’t the same silent treatment he would get when Dean was mad at him. This seemed like a contemplative silence as if he were making a plan. Cas considered that he might have had a breakthrough on their latest troubles. 

By the time they reached the bunker, he couldn’t wait to get out of the car. Dean hadn’t turned the music on, and the tension weighed heavy on him, not unlike the moment they arrived at the store. He wanted to ask Dean what was troubling him, but Cas knew he would just deflect. Dean would talk when he was ready, and knew Cas would be there to listen when he was. So much between them went unsaid, yet they often knew to anticipate each other. They had a way of silent communication. Dean was very expressive with his body language, and anyone who spendt any time with him at all could read him. 

He spent the rest of the afternoon avoiding Dean. Giving him the space he needed. Organizing his clothes and put them away, Cas decided to wear the first outfit he tried on. It felt like wishful thinking, but Cas was certain he had seen Dean admiring his ass when he was checking the fit. Cas knew he was considered attractive, though h never knew what to do with that information. So he tried to pick clothes that he saw other men wearing. Dean often made comments about his jeans making his ass look good, so Cas assumed that was what he was looking for in a pair of jeans. 

Cas had spent the day wondering if Dean was going out with them. Given his mood, it seemed like he could go either way. Dean often liked to go to the bar when he was grumpy, but he also liked to stay in his room and brood.  He was going to see Arnie, so Cas didn’t know why he was so concerned with Dean’s attendance. 

By the time he walked into the kitchen, both Sam and Dean were dressed in their nicer clothes. “Alright, Cas is here. Let’s go get drunk.” Dean clapped his hands together, rubbing them up and down. Cas had to laugh at himself for his worry, though he still didn’t understand his desire to have Dean there. He had every intention of going back home with Arnie, so it wasn't like he needed a ride home. He would probably spend most of his night with his new friend as well. So wanting Dean there made no sense. It wasn't like Dean would be jealous, even though Cas wanted him to be —wanted him to see Cas kissing another man and wish it were him instead. But that was nothing more than a fantasy. Dean didn’t appear to like men, and even if he did, it wasn't like he would be interested in Cas. 

They piled into the Impala for the half hour drive. Cas was sitting behind Dean, talking to Sam about the latest podcast they’d been listening to. When he looked up, he caught Dean’s eye in the mirror, noticing his smile. It was small and soft, but there nonetheless. 

“What?” Cas asked, squinting at Dean as he tilted his head to the side. 

Dean slightly shook his head. “Nothing. It’s just I always forget how much you two have in common when we aren’t fending for our lives. Like maybe if we lived normal lives you’d still be friends.” 

Cas was puzzled, thinking it was a strangely open statement for Dean to make. He tried never to show the side of himself that wanted a different life. It made sense—there was no use in hoping for a different life—but it was still sweet to hear. That even if they were not hunters, and didn’t have to fight biblical wars together, that he still wanted Cas in his life. “And what about you and me? Would we still be friends?”

He stared at Dean through the mirror until he looked up and met his gaze. “Of course, Cas.” 

Dean parroting his words back to him made Castiel chuckle. He’d told Dean _of course_ so many times for some many different reasons, but always meaning the same thing. _Of course, I will Dean. There was never another option_. He wondered if Dean knew that and was saying that same thing to him. He wanted to believe the answer is yes, that Dean knew exactly what he meant when he said it.

Cas bashfully ducked his head. Sam, thankfully caught on to the strange tension in the car and started chatting away about some new lore books he found in the bunker. Cas had never been so thankful for Sam’s ability to carry a conversation. 

The air had cleared by the time they arrived at the bar, and everyone was ready to have a good time. Sam and Dean went straight for the bar ready to order shots, and Cas scanned the room looking for Arnie. They exchanged texts and planned to meet at the bar, and Cas walked in right on time. He shrugged, figuring the two men were running late, and joined Sam and Dean at the bar. 

As expected, Candi was working and offered a warm greeting. It was a simple routine. How are you? _I’m well._ What are you drinking? _Whiskey on the rocks._ It was a level or predictably that Cas loved. He was reveling in the interaction when he felt a pair of long arms wrap around him from behind. Before he turned, he felt hot breath against his neck. Castiel heard Dean grumbling something, but couldn’t make out the words, he was too focused on the lips pressing against his throat. 

“You smell good,” Arnie mumbled into his neck. 

Cas turned, looking up into Arnie's eyes. They were bright and glassy. It was apparent the taller man was well on his way to drunk. “You smell like tequila.” 

Arnie threw his head back and laughed. Cas looked at him confused, he wasn’t trying to be funny, just making a simple observation. “Tequila reminds me of you.” 

“Are you okay?” Cas asked. 

Arnie scoffed. “‘M’fine. Just ready to have a good time. Come on, let’s dance.” He took Cas’ hand and dragged him to the dance floor. 

Cas grabbed Arnie’s arm, using his momentum to pull him back, turning him so they were face to face. “You’re not okay. Talk to me.” 

Arnie’s shoulders slumped, his happy facade slipping. “‘S’nothin’ Cas. Just had a little tiff with Edgar. It’s not a big deal.”

“It seems like a big deal.” Cas led him to a round table in the corner. 

“He was just being a dick. Says I shouldn’t be so wrapped up in you. That I don’t even know you, and I’m moving too fast. We’re not moving too fast, right Cas? I mean, it’s not like we are...we both…. Cas, what do you think this is?” 

Cas couldn’t help but smile. Arnie was an adorable drunk. He looked like a little kid asking for help with his legos. He had a clear idea in mind, but didn’t know how to execute it. “I knew we should have talked about this the other morning. We are both on the same page, Arnie. Our hearts are not available to give, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy each other, right?”

Arnie perked back up. “Yes. See, I knew you got it. We’re the same. I wish we could have met at a different time. I think we could have had a good thing.”

“I think we still can.” Cas ran his fingers through Arnie perfect hair, stopping at the back of his neck and pulling him into a brief kiss. 

Before things could heat up, Cas heard someone clearing their throat. He turned to see Dean standing there with his drink. He smacked his lips and put on his cockiest smile. “You left your drink.” Dean took a sip of of the whiskey before handing it off to Cas. “What’s going on over here?” Dean pulled up a chair, sitting right between Cas and Arnie. 

“Deeeaaann. Hey buddy, how are you?” Arnie leaned over and clapped him on the back. 

Dean glared at him cautiously, slightly lifting his chin. “Hey.” 

“You’re a great guy, Dean. I hope, one day, you get your head out of your ass.” Arnie stood and walked over to Cas, wrapping his arm around around the angel’s waist, leading him to the jukebox. 

Cas was shocked at Dean’s posturing. He surely must have known Cas would see through his cocky attitude. Maybe he was trying to let Arnie know there was someone in Cas’ corner watching out for him. Or maybe Dean was trying to get to know the guy, though Cas had his doubts. 

Dean had moved from their table and was talking with Sam and Edgar. Though Sam looked uncomfortable, Dean and Edgar were both starting at Arnie and Cas like they sucked on sour lemons. Cas thought it was sweet that Arnie had someone as protective as Dean was. He thought back to Dean wondering if Arnie and Edgar had a past. Given the look Edgar was giving them, it seemed like Dean’s assumption wasn’t too far off. He was glaring at Cas like he stole his last curly fry. Maybe there was some truth to what Dean saw. 

Undeterred by their audience, Arnie stood behind Cas, swaying to one of the songs they played. Arnie was apparently a very affectionate drunk. Cas didn’t think he would have been so bold if it weren’t for the looks they were getting from their friends. He knew it wasn’t in disgust, but a mutual distrust in both parties. But neither of them were involved and Cas was already tired of their game. He turned his back on their group of friends, and made to set his drink on the nearest table, but Arnie grabbed it from his hand and guzzled the rest. He locked eyes with Dean as he downed the whiskey. Cas wondered if this was a challenge, showing Dean that, he too, had rights to be where Cas’ mouth had been. 

 

____________________________________

 

Dean and Sam leave the bar shortly after a drunk Arnie pulled Cas out the front door. Dean was tired and ready to get in his bed and sleep well past his usual eight hours. He felt like he would need a shower after witnessing all the heavy petting Cas and Arnie were doing. 

“Did you see the way he was all over Cas?” Dean asks as they pull away from the bar. 

“Dean he—”

“They were practically fucking on the dance floor.” 

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean’s dramatics. “No, they weren’t.”

Dean gripped the steering wheel. “Yeah, they were. Edgar noticed. Hell, he pointed it out to me.” 

Sam sighed, relaxing further into the passenger seat. “That’s because Edgar was jealous Cas had the balls to dance with Arnie in public. The guy’s practically in love with Arnie.”

Dean threw one hand in the air. “That’s what I said. Cas says it’s the other way around. Arnie’s in love Edgar, but the dumbass doesn’t even realize it.”

Sam turned, staring at the side of Dean’s face and deadpanned, “Indeed, what a dumbass.”

Dead glared at his younger brother. “Maybe Edgar doesn’t know.”

“Or maybe he’s in denial. Maybe he’s scared to admit he’s not who he thought he was.”

Dean tried to stay as casual as possible. They were talking about Edgar, but that didn’t mean he didn’t understand the guy's predicament. “It’s easy to see why he’d be scared. I mean he probably spent his whole life thinking he’s straight. Then one day, out of nowhere, your best friend finds a nice guy, and you think, ‘Why that guy? Why’s he so special?’”

Dean doesn’t look at Sam, but he can hear the grin in his tone. “So, what you’re saying is that _Edgar_ might be asking himself, ‘Why not me? Am I not good enough?’” 

Dean’s shoulder drop. There’s no use hiding from Sam. “All I’m saying is maybe _Edgar_ didn’t even know he cared about Arnie like that until he started dating someone else. Maybe Arnie wasn’t the type to date around, so he never considered that he might have those types of feelings or needs.” 

Sam was silent for a while before he said, “So let’s say _Edgar_ didn’t know. And he’s only now realizing that he has feelings for his best friend. It doesn’t mean he’s lost his shot. It’s not like Cas and Arnie are going to be together for more than a few hookups. So if he needs time to come to terms with this new part of himself, he should take it. And I hope he knows he has support.” 

Dean felt a knot form in his throat. For all the times Sam pushed him to talk, to express his feelings, he sure knew how to handle Dean in these delicate situations. It’s not like Sam was wrong either. Arnie and Cas were nothing more than a passing fling, and Cas saying he understood Arnie was making a lot more sense. Maybe Cas was saying he understood having feelings for your best friend. What Dean wasn’t sure was if Cas somehow knew how Dean felt about him, even before Dean did. Or if Cas was implying that he was in the same boat, Arnie was longing for the straight friend. 

“Hey, Sam?” Dean's voice was small and quiet over the rumble of the car. 

“Yeah?”

Dean stared out the window, both hands gripping the wheel. “What if Arnie doesn’t really feel the same way? I mean what if uh, Edgar, thinks that Arnie might feel the same way, but he doesn’t?”

As Dean suspected her would, Sam knew exactly what he was asking. “I don’t know, Dean. I’d say it was worth the risk. Some friendships can withstand anything. So if one person feels strongly, and the other doesn’t? I think they’d still be able to figure something out.”

Dean mumbled under his breath as he reached to turn up the radio. “‘Something’ might not be good enough.” 

The rest of the ride back to the bunker left Sam and Dean quietly listening to the radio. Once they arrived home, they both immediately said goodnight and headed off to their own rooms.

This time Dean didn’t stay up all night tossing and turning. He knew exactly what Cas was doing, and while it didn’t ease the discomfort, the sense of not knowing wasn’t lingering over him. That, and he had been able to do his own tests on Arnie throughout the night. It was a challenge not to stab him with the silver pen he kept in his pocket. Every time he groped Cas, Dean got one step closer to jabbing the silver in his neck. It would be easy enough to explain to Cas that he thought he saw his skin sizzling when he touched him with the pen.

He wasn’t sure what he felt worse about, watching Cas make out with another guy all night, or how Arnie didn’t seem to cherish how precious those kisses were. It was around Dean’s fourth drink that he realized he imagined himself kissing Cas. It wasn’t some big _ah-ha_ moment. He was simply watching Arnie grip at the back of Cas’ shirt, thinking Cas deserved better than that. He deserved to have his face caressed, soft touches tracking up his neck and through his hair. Every other part of Cas’ life was rough, and gritty, but this shouldn’t be. He didn’t deserve to be devoured, but savored. 

He was doing more than imaging kissing Cas as he lay in the dark. He kept playing the line over and over in his mind. _Cas deserves to be savored, Cas deserves to be savored by someone who cares about him. Cas deserves to be savored by me._

He was shocked at himself for not feeling scared. He’d never been with a guy outside of the one time he had a threeway with a waitress and her boyfriend. But Dean and the other guy didn’t do anything, so that hardly counted. But imagining himself kissing down Cas’ neck and across his torso had him turned on. 

Dean was a tactile person, so it wasn’t often he got hard simply from his imagination, but as his hand slid down his belly, and brushed across his cock, he felt an involuntary jerk. He was still fully clothed and just the thought of sucking on Cas’ nipple had his dick fully engorged. He couldn’t help but imagine the noises Cas would make as he kissed his way down his stomach. 

Dean lifted his hips and slid his boxers off slowly, letting the cotton drag across his erection. He felt like a teenager again, ready to shoot off at the first touch. He ran his hands up his thighs and gently rubbed at his balls. He loved when he could take his time and tease himself. 

While his right hand worked over his balls, his left drifted up to his nipple. He imagined it was Cas pinching at the nub, making it as hard as his cock. Dean brought his fingers to his mouth, meaning to just get them wet and move back to his nipple, but the weight of his fingers on this tongue turned him on endlessly. He sucked his fingers and finally moved his hand to his aching cock. He moaned around his fingers as he slowly stroked himself. 

There was a dry drag that he normally didn’t like, but he was already so close he didn’t want to stop to get his lube. He was panting as he picked up the pace, imagining it was Cas’ hand on his dick. 

Dean let out a long moan as he felt himself on the brink. He clenched his eyes shut and let the euphoria to wash over him. Before he even felt the first splash of cum hit his chest his phone started ringing. 

  _Catch the wind,_

_    See us spin, _

_    Sail away, _

_    Leave today, _

_    Way up high in the sky. _

 

_    But the wind won't blow, _

_    You really shouldn't go, _

_    It only goes to show _

_    That you will be mine _

_    By takin' our time. _

“Fuck,” Dean cursed as he reached for his phone. He was still reeling from his orgasm and hadn’t had time to catch his breath. “This better be good,” he gasped. 

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean looked down at his softening cock. The shrill ringing of the phone had startled his hard-on away. He closed his eyes and wished he would have heard Cas’ _'Hello, Dean'_ just seconds before. Just the thought made his dick give a pathetic attempt at a rally. 

“What’s up?” he asked, searching for something to clean himself off.

“It’s really nothing. I thought you might still be at the bar, or somewhere still in Smith Center. I was going to ask for a ride. But judging by your husky voice, and labored breathing, I’m assuming you’re with someone. Sorry to interrupt. I’ll find my own way home.” 

“Goddamnit Cas, wait. Just give me a second.” Dean set his phone down and scrubbed his hands down his face, grimacing at the dampness of his hand. Less than one minute ago he was jerking off to images of Cas, and here he was assuming Dean was with someone else. It made him irrationally angry. Why did he even pick up the phone? He could have waited thirty seconds and called back. He thinks maybe on a subconscious level hearing Cas’ voice directly after coming would be thrilling. 

“You’re not staying the night with your dude?” Dean spit out. 

“Uh, no. There was a bit of a complication.”

Dean imagined ten different scenarios before asking Cas what the complication was. He was up and struggling back into his boxers before asking, “Complication? What complication? Are you okay?” 

Was it vampires? Maybe werewolves? Was the moon even full? Was it E.D.? Maybe Arnie couldn’t get it up because he was so drunk.

“I’m fine, Dean. It’s nothing related to, uh, our work. It’s just Edgar showed up, and it’s time for me to take my leave.” 

“I’m home, but I’ll be there as fast as I can.” Dean looked at his watch and realized it was only a little after midnight. “Go back into the bar and wait for me. I’ll be there in two shakes.” 

Cas lets out a soft thank you before Dean grabbed his keys and headed for the Impala. 

He was on the road before realizing he hadn’t washed his hands. Now, not only did he have to face Cas after jerking off to him, but he still had the evidence all over him. 


	4. Both POV

Cas sat at the bar waiting for Dean to arrive. He wanted to be happy for Arnie, but seeing him live out his fantasy shook Cas to his core. It just made him realize he would never have that. He knew Dean would never admit to having feelings for him, and certainly wouldn’t do it with a grand gesture. Not that Edgar had been romantic, but it was grand all the same. Edgar had beat on the door until Arnie answered, wearing nothing but his boxers. He pushed past a still very drunk Arnie, to confront Cas. Telling him just because he slept with Arnie once, it didn’t give Cas the right to go home with him and take advantage.

  
Cas downed his drink and asked for another. He smiled to himself as he remembered how angry Arnie got. He told Edgar he didn’t have a right to bust into his apartment just because he went home with someone. What Edgar failed to notice was that while Arnie was practically naked, Cas was still fully dressed. While Arnie was yelling at him, Edgar dropped to the couch, cradling his head in his hands. Through choked sobs, he told Arnie everything. How he was scared, that he didn’t want to be gay, but couldn't help how much he loved Arnie, but also couldn’t bring himself to admit his feelings because he couldn’t stand the rejection if Arnie didn’t love him back. And then sobbed harder because he never dared to tell Arnie while he was sober, and now he’s lost his chance. It was at that time Edgar remembered Cas and looked at him wide-eyed, mouth gaping. He apologized to Cas telling him that he couldn’t let Arnie choose him, not if Edgar had a shot. He said that Cas was just the type of guy Arnie needed in his life, and if he didn’t do something now, he might lose any hope he had to be with Arnie.

  
As he sat in the bar, Cas had suppressed a laugh—he was anything but the perfect guy for Arnie. Hell, he wasn’t even a guy, but he was happy that their short-lived romance helped Edgar get his head out of his ass.

  
Cas had kissed Arnie on the cheek and asked him to call when things were worked out. That he still needed a friend who understood him. Arnie's eyes softened as he hugged Cas, assuring him that they would always be friends, and he would be there anytime Cas needed to get away from Dean.

  
“Hey, buddy.” Dean slid his palm across Dean’s shoulders, sitting on the stool next to him.

  
Cas nodded his greeting and signaled the bartender for another drink. Dean didn’t press Cas to talk about what happened, but Cas knew that he would be interested. Dean seemed oddly invested in their relationship. So Cas told him everything. Everything...but the envy he felt for their budding relationship.

  
“Shit, man. That’s gotta sting. I mean, I know you guys weren’t really dating or anything, but damn, Edgar literally stole him right out from under you.”

  
“Well, he wasn’t literally under me. Arnie was far too drunk to consent to sexual congress.”

  
Dean smiled and raised his glass to cheers his friend. “Good call, buddy.” Dean slapped him on the back. “You’re a good guy, Cas. You’ll find someone if that’s what you really want.”

  
The conversation was too heavy for Cas’ mood, so he pasted on a bright smile and challenged Dean to a round of shots. Before long Candi was shuffling the guys outside, telling they were too drunk and needed to go home.

  
The upside to being an angel was you didn’t have to stay drunk. Cas closed his eyes and pushed his grace through his body, clearing his bloodstream of the accumulated alcohol. Dean had his arm wrapped around his shoulders as they swayed towards the car. Dean never accepted when Cas offered to sober him up. Claiming it would be wasted money, and since Dean spent well over fifty dollars for their drinks, he didn’t even offer.

  
“Where are your keys, Dean?” Cas asked as he pushed the other man against the car.

  
“I’m good.” Dean shrugged him off.

  
“Dean Winchester, give me your keys. You are not driving this car. And when you’re sober, we are having a serious talk about your drinking and driving.”

  
Dean groaned and threw his head back. “Fine.”

  
Since Dean made no effort to reach for the key, Cas dug them out of his pocket. Smiling triumphantly that he knew Dean well enough to know where he kept his keys.

  
“You wanna buy a girl dinner first,” Dean slurred and attempted a wink that looked more like a drawn-out blink.

  
“I thought we already established I don’t take advantage of the drunk.”

  
“My hero.”

  
They drove back to the bunker in silence. Halfway home, Dean mumbled something about being tired and laid down on the seat. He snuggled himself up to Cas, resting his head on the driver’s thigh. Though Cas gave various speeches that night about not taking advantage of the drunk, he wasn’t a saint. He gave in and brushed his fingers through Dean’s hair. He wasn’t sure Dean would accept this type of affection if he were sober, but they did have a level of intimacy in their friendship that allowed for physical contact. He may have been making excuses for himself, but Cas let go of the guilt of touching Dean in a way he might not have had he been sober.

  
Deciding that he already crossed the line, Cas decided to carry Dean to his room. This is something he was certain Dean would have never allowed, but he couldn’t stand to wake Dean up. He seemed so peaceful and small, and Cas wasn’t going to make Dean lose any more sleep than he already had.

  
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

  
It was late afternoon before Dean saw Cas again. He was freshly showered and didn’t feel as bad as he thought he would, given how drunk he was.

  
“Mornin’ Sunshine. ‘sthere coffee?” Dean gestured toward the coffee pot with his chin.

  
“There is, but it’s the froo froo kind you pretend not to like.”

  
Dean feigned a dirty look, but gave in and grinned at Cas, letting him know he wasn't really mad about the coffee. Cas and Sam both knew he liked froo froo drinks.

  
“You are much happier today than you usually are after a night of drinking.”

  
“Yeah, and…” Dean plopped down across from Cas at the kitchen table.

  
Cas shrugged. “Just making an observation.”

  
Several moments of silence passed before Dean kicked his foot up against Cas’. “You sticking around for awhile?”

  
Cas folded the paper he was reading. “I have nowhere to go at the moment. Did you find a case?”

  
Dean ducked his head. “No, nothing like that. I just had an idea. I was going to make a pie, but I need apples.”

  
Cas perked up. “Does that mean you’re going to the farmers market?”

  
“Uh, no. They're closed today, so I kind of thought we could go to Huber’s. It’s pretty far out of the way, but it’s close to the drive-in. I was thinking, if you want, we could pick some apples and then go to the movie. They are playing the first two Indian Jones movies. I mean, that’s just if you have nothing to do.” Dean could feel his face burning as he stared at the kitchen table.

  
“You want to go pick apples?” Cas asked.

  
“Well, no, not really. I’d just get apples from the store, but I thought you might like the orchard, and I didn’t want to see the movie alone. It's a trade-off.”

  
“You’re going to pick apples because you think I would like it?”

  
“Am I speaking a different language? It’s really that hard to believe that I wanted to do something I thought you would like?”

  
Cas’ face morphed from confusion to pure elation. “Okay. When would you like to go?”

  
“Let’s go now.”

  
“Okay. I want to change.”

  
Dean yelled out to Cas’ retreating form, “You get a guy a few new things, and you turn into a diva.”

 

***

Dean pulled into a dusty field when he caught a glimpse of Cas’ smile. It was just a dumb idea he had that morning when he got a craving for apple pie. But the look on Cas' face proved it was worth the awkward invitation.

  
If they were in town, they would usually go to the farmers market on the weekend to get their produce. Dean didn’t care where his fruit came from, but Cas liked going, so he put up with it. The problem was the market wasn’t open until Saturday. He didn’t want to invite Cas to the grocery store, so he tried to think of the next best thing. The idea of going on dates with Arnie seemed like something Cas was excited about, so a trip to the grocery store wasn’t going to cut it. Not that Dean planned on telling Cas this was a date. It was more like a practice run for himself. To see if he could get through it.

  
He imagined that Cas wouldn’t reject him if he told him it was going to be a date, but he wasn’t ready to cross that line. He wanted to be one hundred percent sure Cas felt the same way before crossing a line he could never take back. He and Cas had survived worse, but he didn’t want to go through it if he didn’t have to. Cas saying that Arnie “got him,” and then later Arnie telling Dean he needed to get his head out of his ass, had Dean feeling pretty sure Cas felt something for him. But he was going to need a little better than pretty sure.

  
They walked from the field to an ample open space. Off in the distance to the right was the small local distillery. Several acres behind that was the orchard. You had to be taken there by tractor-pulled wagons. They traveled alongside a venue that was often used for wedding receptions. When they got to the main grounds, they noticed picnic tables everywhere. There were two different restaurants onsight, as well as treats in the marketplace.

  
The market was not much different than a farmers market. There were open-air stands of fruits and veggies. There was a row of canopies selling arts and crafts, and an indoor market set of to the left. There was a small bar that didn’t look much bigger than a child's lemonade stand, and next to it was a cart marking fresh donuts. Dean knew he was going to stop there before they left. Even further to the left of the market was a large pond. There were geese everywhere and a stand selling bird seed. He knew without asking Cas would want to feed the geese.

  
“Alright, we’re going to pick the stupid apples, but first we check out the distillery. I read they have an apple brandy they make using their own apples. It’s aged in oak casts for five years. I want to bring a bottle back to Sam. It’s local, organic, and booze. He’s going to love it.” Dean was practically bouncing with excitement. The small distillery tour was what sealed the deal for the day at the orchard.

  
While on the tour they learned how whiskey was made, heard about the family recipe they used that dated back to pre-prohibition and the family bootlegging business. And Dean finally learned the difference between whiskey and bourbon. Which was surprising, because he thought the only difference was that bourbon was made in Kentucky. He didn’t realize how different the two were.

  
After the tour and tasting, they made their way to into the market. Dean wanted to buy one of the cocktails they tasted, and Cas wanted to look around at all the farm fresh items. Dean got distracted at the donut stand and ended up buying a dozen apple crisp cake donuts and half a dozen pumpkin before ever reaching the bartender.

  
He was embarrassed walking up to Cas with his small bounty until he found Cas in the market with a handbasket full of items. Cas looked up at him with wide eyes, as if he were about to explain when Dean handed him over a drink. “I got you an Apple Jack. You said the brandy didn’t taste like molecules.” Dean gave him a sheepish grin.

  
“Thank you, Dean.” Cas took the drink from his hand, taking a sip.

  
“So what’s all this?” Dean asked.

  
“Oh, just a few things I thought you might like. You said you wanted to make a pie, and they have a crust kit. It comes with all the ingredients and their recipe. They also had a honeypot that's shaped like a honeycomb I thought was cute. What did you get?”

  
“Donuts,” Dean beamed. “Whad’ya say we finish up here and grab some food? I’m starving.”

  
Cas gave him an incredulous look. “You’re telling me you didn’t have any donuts?”

  
Dean looked down at the toe of his boot scuffing across the floor. “I may have tried them out to see if I would like them, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still hungry.”

  
Cas just laughed as he made his way to the cashier. Dean offered to pay for Cas’ items, claiming their money all came from the same place while trying to ignore the sweet look the young girl behind the register was giving them. She probably assumed they shared a bank account, not that they were both using stolen credit cards. He kind of liked getting mistaken for the type of man who would share a bank account. Especially if it were with Cas.

  
Castiel offered to take their things back to the car while Dean found them a table and ordered the food. The sun was getting lower, and a breeze picked up, so Dean decided to sit inside. The place was surprisingly busy for a Friday evening, but not busy enough that he couldn’t place his order and get a seat by the window overlooking the pond.

  
They talked about everything but hunting as they ate. Dean told Cas about wanting to be a firefighter when he was a kid, and Cas told Dean about ancient Egypt. They decided to finish the meal off with homemade ice-cream, and Dean suggested they eat their cones as they fed the geese.

By the time they were ready to pick apples, they were the only ones on the wagon. It was the last run of the day and had to hurry if they wanted to make the movie. Even though Dean had an entire bench to choose from, he sat right next to Cas. Close enough that he could feel the heat radiating off Cas’ body, but just far enough that they weren’t touching.

  
In his mind, he thought picking apples would be more romantic. Nothing like in a cheesy rom-com where he fell off the ladder, and Cas caught him, but he thought it would be more than stopping at one tree and getting all they needed. He and Cas both picked a bag and were back at the wagon within twenty minutes.

  
On the ride back to the parking lot, Cas explained the origin of the fruit, and Dean was surprisingly fascinated. It was the easiest conversation they ever had. It was as if they were just two people enjoying each other. They didn’t have to be hunter and angel; they didn’t have to be two men interested in each other, they just simply were. Dean imagined if he ever makes it to Heaven, the memory of this day will be on the playlist. 


	5. Both POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there is one more chapter after this... but I said that last time. This isn't a very long chapter, but I wanted to get something out. :)

Cas was sitting on the hood of the car waiting for Dean to get his snacks. They ate at late lunch less than two hours ago, but Dean insisted they needed popcorn. While he waited, the angel reclined against the windshield as Sam and Dean often do. It had been such a good day. He couldn’t help but feel like he was on a date. When Dean invited him places it was usually to just run errands or to help with chores. In all their time of knowing each other, Cas couldn’t recall a time when Dean invited him to do something just for fun. What’s more was that this wasn’t something that was just fun in Dean’s eyes, this was Cas’ version of fun. Though, Dean had enjoyed himself, especially while feeding the geese. One mama goose took a liking to Dean and followed him around the pond. Cas had never felt more connected to a goose before. At least she was the right gender. 

Cas had wondered many times if he were in a female vessel would things be different with Dean. If he had taken over an attractive woman, then he’s sure Dean would have tried to sleep with him. But Dean didn’t t have many scruples when it came to sleeping with beautiful women. Cas thought that maybe that would have been worse. Sleeping with Dean, but not getting to have him for the other moments. 

His thoughts were interrupted when Dean came bounding up to the car with an arm full of snacks. “They are practically giving this shit away, Cas. They charged two bucks for a bag of candy. At a real movie theater, it would have been five. I wonder how old it is.” 

Cas laughs at Dean’s excitement. He’s heard the human phrase _ “Like a kid in a candy store,”  _ and now he wants to take Dean to a candy store just to see his eyes light up. Maybe he will suggest that as their next outing. 

“You’re really going to like this movie. It’s definitely in my top five favorite movies of all time,” Dean said as he climbed next to Cas on the hood of the Impala. 

“I’m sure I’ll love it. You have great taste in movies.”

“Damn right I do.” 

Dean ripped open his bag of licorice and offered Cas a piece, which he declined. “Come on man, they are little chewy pieces of Heaven.”

“Dean, you and I have both been to Heaven, you know that’s not true.” 

From the light of the screen, Cas saw Dean blush before he ducked his head. “Yeah well, what if today is one of the days I relive in Heaven? Licorice and all?” 

Cas was stunned. He and Dean had never talked about Heaven. Dean had died many times but had only experienced what Heaven is truly like when Roy and Walt killed him. There was no agenda from Heaven, and he got to experience it the way any other soul would. At the time, Cas had been too wrapped up in his own sorrow to talk to Dean about his experience. Though he and Dean didn’t talk then like they do now. 

“You think today will be one of the memories you relive in heaven?” Cas asked. 

Dean shrugged, biting into his candy. “I mean I don’t even know if I’ll go to Heaven, but yeah I think today will make it.” 

They stared at each other until the movie began. The volume coming from the speaker stand was loud, making Dean jump. “Son of a bitch,” he mumbled. 

They watched the movie in silence. One thing Cas had never been able to get over when watching movies or shows is the historical inaccuracies. But Dean was so enraptured by the movie that Cas didn’t seem to mind how off this movie was. 

He noticed Dean shivering and suggested they sit in the car. Dean turned down the offer, stating that watching outside is much better. 

Though Cas decided to wear some of his new clothes, he still wore his trenchcoat out. There was something about it that made him feel normal, and he didn’t want to leave it behind. It wasn’t as though he needed it for warmth, it was more like a security blanket. He was wearing one of his “dad sweaters,” and knew it wouldn’t seem strange if anyone saw him without a jacket. So he pulled his trench coat off and wrapped it around Dean. 

Dean had been sitting up for most of the movie next to Cas, reclining against the window. As Dean slid his arms into the coat he scooted a little closer. Before Cas knew what he was doing, his internal thoughts slipped past his lips. “This feels like a date.” 

 

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

 

_ This feels like a date.  _ Dean almost didn’t notice what Cas had said. He was snuggling into the angel’s coat when the words hit him. Of course, it felt like a date, it  _ was  _ a date. Of course, it was only a practice round to see if Dean even knew how to properly court someone. It had gone well. Maybe now was the time to just go for it. If Cas was thinking this felt like a date, and Cas was enjoying himself, that must mean Cas would enjoy dating him. He reminded himself they could survive anything and went for it. 

With his mind made up, Dean turned on his charm and looked at Cas with his sexiest smirk. “It can be a date if you want.” 

He grinned wider when Cas appeared to choke on air. “What?” 

Dean scooted closer. “I said, if you want it to be a date, it’s a date.” 

“I–uh–I mean––” Cas sputtered. 

Dean felt all his confidence seeping out of his body. He had misread the situation making Cas uncomfortable. He backed out of Cas’ space and said, “Cas, I––”

He was cut off as Cas curled his fist into the trenchcoat and hauled Dean forward. Cas’ lips were pressed against his before Dean realized what was going on. It was nothing more than a peck, just a quick press of lips before Cas pulled away. 

“I’m sorry,” was all Cas got out before Dean wrapped his hand around Cas’ neck and pulled him into a deeper kiss. 

Cas was stiff at first but loosened up as Dean stroked his neck. Showing Cas it was okay, that they both wanted this. Cas sighed and opened his mouth slightly. Dean took the opportunity to slip his tongue between Cas’ lips. He expected Cas to be a little bumbly, and perhaps a bit sloppy, but instead Cas gave him the best kiss of his life. Slowly rolling his tongue against Dean’s and sucking on his bottom lip. 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but by the time he came up for air, he was practically sitting on Cas’ lap. He felt shy when he looked to Cas and asked him if that was okay. Cas chuckled and kissed his nose. It was sweet and it made Dean quiver. He’d never been handled so gently, not even with Lisa. 

“In case I wasn’t clear, I want this to be a date,” Cas said as he put his arm around Dean. 

“Yeah, I got that.” Dean pushed Cas back so they were laying against the window, Dean’s head pillowed on Cas’ bicep. 

He was shocked at how easy it was to have this with Cas. He had imagined this moment would come with a big speech and grand gesture. He planned on asking Cas out on a proper date, and kissing him goodnight at his door. What he didn’t account for was how well Cas knew him. How he knew that Dean hated speeches, and could anticipate his needs better than even Sam. Cas knew that Dean wanted to be cared for. He always let women take charge in the bedroom, mostly to make sure they were comfortable. But he never fully let himself go in those situations. He was still in charge. 

When Cas grabbed him and kissed him, he was telling Dean it was okay to let go. Showing him that it was okay to give up control from time to time. Dean couldn’t wait to explore that further. There was no one in the world he was safer with, and to bring that into his sex life would be more than he could have asked for. 

He had his reservations of course, but it wasn’t as though he’d never been to fifth base. And going there with Cas had the potential to be the best experience of his life. He laughed at himself when he wondered if you were allowed to relive sexual encounters in Heaven, especially of the homosexual kind. Then he remembered that God himself was at the very least, bisexual. 

Dean spent the rest of the movie with his head pillowed on Cas. He moved from laying on his arm to pressing himself fully against Cas’ side and resting on Castiel’s shoulder. Cas was either stroking his arm or running his fingers through Dean’s hair. It was so comforting that the hunter began to doze off during the beginning of the second movie. 

“Dean,” Cas whispered. 

“Hmm?”

“The movie is over. We should go.” Cas was trying to sit up.

Dean made himself go limp, using his dead weight to push Cas back down. “Not yet.” 

Cas laughed but continued to try and get up. “Come on. It’s gotten cold and you need rest. If you’d like, I will drive home.” 

Dean sat up, blinking rapidly at the lights that were now on in the parking lot. He liked the idea of Cas driving his car. He knew Cas would take care of her better than anyone. Even Sam, because at least Cas didn’t ride the breaks. 

“Yeah, okay,” he said handing over the keys. 

As they got into the car he noticed just how cold it was. He grinned devilishly, sliding over to once again press himself into Cas’ side. He mumbled, “M’cold,” under his breath, resting against Cas. 

It was the first time in a long time––maybe ever––that Dean felt this safe. 


	6. Both POV

Dean was at the coffee pot when Sam came bounding in. “I think I caught us a case. It’s only a few hours from here. We can probably be back by tomorrow if we hit the road soon.”

Dean groaned. It would figure Sam would find a case when all Dean wanted to do was lay in bed with Cas. After they got home the night before, Cas sent him to bed alone, but not before a serious make-out session outside his bedroom door. Any worry or hesitation was long gone by the time Dean slid his leg between Cas’, but the angel insisted Dean slow down. Claiming he didn’t want Dean to make a decision he would regret.

After parting with Cas Dean had laid on his bed, stroking himself to completion. He secretly hoped Cas heard him chanting this name, like a prayer, as he came all over his chest.

He was in his room packing a bag when Cas knocked twice before letting himself in. Dean had his back to the other man but started talking anyway. “So, Sam found us a case. Apparently, it’s a few hours from here and we should be back by tomorrow. You wanna come?” He turned around to see Cas with a goofy grin on his face.

“What?” Dean asked

Cas shook his head. “Nothing. I just expected more––regret from you.”

Dean strode across the room in just a few steps, sliding his hands under both trench coat and suit jacket to hold Cas around the waist. “Come on Cas, you know me. When I’m serious about something, I’m all in.”

“You’re––this is serious?” Cas gulped. His arms were resting lightly on Dean’s shoulders.

Dean was trying to keep his composure, but he was starting to worry he misread the situation. He slowly pulled his arms away from Cas. “I didn’t mean to assume. I just––”

“No,” Cas shouted, putting his hand on Dean’s back to halt his movement. Dean looked up at him with wide eyes. “No,” Cas continued, “You didn't assume. I just wasn’t sure you wanted this to be serious.”

Dean let out a deep breath, visibly relaxing. “I do, Cas. I want this to be serious. I’m not good at talking about this shit, but if we are going to do this, it’s just us. It’s going to be, God help me, I’m actually saying this, I want it to be something real. Like a relationship or whatever.”

Cas pressed a sweet kiss to Dean’s mouth. “You’re better at talking then you give yourself credit for.”

Dean hummed, leaning in for a deeper kiss. His hands were still around Cas’ waist, he tightened his grip pulling Cas’ hips flush against his. “Now that we have that solved, think we have time to–” Dean didn’t finish his sentence, but rolled his hips against Cas’.

“Mmm, maybe if we’re quick,” Cas says.

Dean’s breath hitched. He expected Cas to suggest waiting. He quickly moved his hand up Cas’ waist, pushing both coats off, letting them pool on the ground. He pulled his lips away from Cas’ and started kissing across his face and down his neck. He was licking and sucking on Cas’ neck when a pounding on the door almost made him jump out of his skin.

“Are you almost ready, Dean? The sooner we get there, the quicker we can leave,” Sam shouted from the other side of the door.

“Just give me a few more minutes,” Dean shouted back.

Cas stifled a laugh and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair.

“Half an hour Sam, just give me half an hour.” Dean bit down on Cas’ shoulder to keep from moaning. While the hunter was negotiating departure times with his brother, Cas was slowly unbuckling Dean’s belt.

Sam was still on the other side of the door, telling Dean how irresponsible he was, and that innocent lives were at stake. But Dean was too busy unbuttoning Cas’ shirt to pay attention to him. Cas had his belt undone, his jeans unbuttoned and was slowly pulling down the zipper when there was yet another round of banging. “Dean, what the fuck, man.”  

Dean stomped over to the door, yanking it open half way. “Give me half an hour, Sam. Just thirty fucking minutes. I probably don’t even need that long if you would just go away.”

Sam looked Dean up and down. His hair was a mess, his face was flushed, he was panting, and his pants were undone. There was no way Sam could misread the signs. He and Cas would have had to tell him eventually, but at least this way he got the satisfaction of seeing Sam’s horrified face when he looked over Dean’s head to see a half-dressed angel standing in the middle of Dean’s room.

“Wh–what?” Sam stammered.

“Half an hour, Sammy. I’ll explain on the way.” Dean shut the door in Sam’s face.

He walked back to Cas and finished undoing the last few buttons on his shirt. “Now where were we?”

Cas was shaking, but Dean didn’t think it was from anticipation. He looked up to see tears shining brightly in Cas’ eyes. “Cas, what’s wrong?” The angel burst out laughing. Gasping for air, as if he needed to breathe.

“Did–did you see his face?” Cas stumbled backward, sitting on Dean’s bed. “Sam has stood face to face with the devil, met God, and has actually gone to hell. And in all my years of knowing him, he’s never looked so shocked.”

Dean didn’t think it was funny, and if he had any blood left in his brain would probably be regretting his decision. But Sam had to find out at some point, and Dean was a much better hunter after getting laid.

He wanted to take his time with Cas, kiss every inch of his body, slowly taking him apart. But he was on a time limit, and Sam probably had a stopwatch going.

Dean stood in front of Cas, cupping his chin so those blue eyes would be looking up at him. “Is this okay? We can wait.”

Cas grabbed Dean around the waist and hauled him onto the bed. Flipping them over so Dean was on his back, and Cas hovering above him. Dean had never gotten hard so fast in his life. It reminded him that Cas was strong, and could manhandle him.

Cas dove in for a kiss, taking control of the situation. Running his hands down Dean’s arms, Cas gently gripped the other man’s wrists, bringing them up above Dean’s head, lightly pinning them to the bed. Cas moved from kissing Dean’s mouth, to kissing his chin, down the column of his throat. Dean tipped his head back and closed his eyes. He thought his first time with a man would be scary, but Cas was nothing but sweet. Running his nose along Dean’s neck before going back over it with long licks.

Dean’s hand were still above his head when Cas grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it off in one fluid movement. “Next time Dean, I’m going to spend hours making you feel good, but I think Sam might kill us both if we don’t hurry.”

Dean came up on both elbows, watching Cas undoing his own trousers. “New rule. Never bring my brother’s name up during sex.”

Cas laughed as he divested himself of his pants and boxers. Dean flopped back on the bed breathing hard. “Holy shit, you’re so hot.”

“So are you Dean. You’re gorgeous.”

Cas tugged at Dean’s pants, and he lifted his hips letting Cas pull off his jeans and boxers. Cas threw Dean clothes across the room and came back down to rest above Dean’s body. Cas had one hand planted next to Dean’s shoulder and the other tweaked a nipple. Cas licked over the other nipple, sucking and biting at it. Dean's nipples had never been particularly sensitive, but whatever Cas was doing felt amazing. He let out a whimper when he felt Cas moving away, kissing his way down Dean’s torso.

Dean spread his legs further, giving Cas room to settle between them. Cas shuffled down the bed, licking and kissing his way lower down Dean’s body. He kissed over his hips, down his pelvis, and right at the root of Dean’s cock. Taking great care to avoid touching his dick.

Cas ran his nose through the hair at the base of Dean’s groin, and slowly kissed his way up Dean’s cock. He was twitching by the time Cas placed a kiss on the tip of his dick. Dean already knew he wasn’t going to last, but didn’t care. He could always blame it on trying to hurry.

Cas gave his cock a few tentative licks. Reaching up, he slowly started stroking Dean. Cas was going so slow that he thought he might die if he didn’t hurry up. As if Cas could read his mind, he moved his hand away and swallowed Dean down in one quick movement. It appeared angels didn’t have a gag reflex, and Dean felt his cock hit the back of Cas’ throat.

“Fuck, Cas,”  he growled. His chest was heaving and he felt like he was going light headed from the lack of oxygen. Or maybe Cas just felt so good wrapped around his cock that it made him dizzy.

He was moaning and writhing on the bed as Cas bobbed up and down on his cock. He looked down and noticed Cas was stroking himself to match the rhythm of his mouth. Seeing Cas jacking himself was what finally pushed Dean over the edge.

He gripped Cas’ hair and said, “Fuck Cas I’m about to, ah ahhhh.”

Cas hollowed his cheeks and moaned around Dean’s cock. Dean’s whole body broke out in goosebumps and his muscles tensed as he came down Dean’s throat.

Cas let Dean slide out of his mouth as he groaned, “Dean.”

Dean felt splashes of cum hit his inner thigh and signed at the sight of Cas sitting up on his knees, chin pressed against his chest, hand still gripping his softening cock.

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean breathed.

“Yeah,” Cas said laying down next to him. “We still have five minutes.”

Dean laughed and turned to plant a kiss on Cas’ forehead. “You sure you don’t want to come? We can get our own room.”

“That’s tempting, but you’ll be back tomorrow. Then we can do this properly.”

Dean wondered what _properly_ meant to Cas. Wondered if Cas would have a preference. He didn’t even know if he had a preference, but he knew what he wanted to try first.

“If you don’t get out there, Sam might take your car and go without you,” Cas said pushing Dean towards the edge of the bed.

“He better not.” Dean got up, groaning as he felt fluid dripping down his leg. “Ew.”

 

___________________________________________

 

Cas spent his day roaming around the bunker aimlessly. He used Dean’s computer to get caught up in his favorite shows. He worked on Sam’s archives for a little while, but without Sam to dull out the next task, he moved on to researching the intricacies of male on male intercourse. He knew the basic concep, and knew the things he liked, but wanted to find ways to please Dean.

He expected Dean to be more hesitant than he was. He thought Dean might regret what they had done, or act aloof. He was pleased when Dean met him with a smile and an invitation to come on the hunt. If the brothers were going to be gone longer than a day or two, Cas would have gone. But he wanted to stay home and do _research._

Cas sent several messages to Arnie, telling him about his outing-turned-date with Dean. I’m happy for you, Cas. _Thanks, I’m happy too. How are you and Edgar?_ We are great, moving too fast, but I love it. _That’s great. I’m happy for you as well._  

It was almost midnight by the time Cas heard from Dean.

11:58 pm << Hey Cas. Just made it to the motel. Ghost is gone.

11:58 pm <<I’m getting too old for this shit.

11:59 pm >> Hello, Dean. Are you okay? Did you or Sam get hurt?

11:59 pm << No injuries, unless you count a stiff back. I’m going to get a shower.

Cas expected that to be the last message he got from Dean. Normally he would let Cas know he was safe and then fall asleep without so much as a goodnight. He was surprised when his phone rang out fifteen minutes later.

_12:17 am << So much better. Hey, Cas? _

_12:17 am >> Yes? _

_12:18 am << What are you wearing? _

_12:19 am >> I’m wearing the same thing I always wear. Dark blue suit, white cotton button down, blue tie, and my trench coat. I don’t have my shoes on though. I’m laying in bed. _

_12:21 am << OMG! You dork. That’s not what I meant. You’re supposed to say something sexy. Like, nothing or just silk boxer or something. LOL _

_12:23 am >> Oh. Um. I’m only wearing my underwear. What are you wearing? _

_12:24 am << There you go. I’m only wearing a towel. I’m lonely Cas. _

Cas looked at his phone. He can’t imagine why Dean would be lonely. He and Sam usually shared a room and they were likely with each other all day.

_12:26 am >> Where is Sam? _

_12:26 am << He’s out getting food. But that’s not what I meant by lonely. _

_12:27 am >> Oh. What do you mean? _

_12:28 am << I want you to keep me company. Entertain me if you know what I mean. _

Cas scrolls through his camera roll finding just the perfect image to send Dean.

_12:30 am >> Image sent. _

_12:30 am >> Image sent. _

_12:31 am >> Image sent. _

_12:32 am << Cas? _

_12:32 am << Did you just send me Cat memes? _

_12:33 am >> Yes. They are entertaining aren’t they? _

_12:35 am << *eye roll emoji* Why do I even try? I meant talk dirty to me Cas. _

_12:36 am >> OOHHH! Like sexting? _

_12:36 am << Geez, Cas. You can’t just say it. You’ve got to be subtle. _

_12:37 am >> Right. Oh Dean, you turn me on so much. _

_12:37 am << Yeah? What turns your on? _

_12:39 am >> Your sexy mouth and… _

_12:40 am << Uh huh _

_12:41 am >> Your soul mostly. It’s so beautiful. Bright and pure. _

_12:45 am << Forget it. _

_12:45 am >> I’m sorry Dean. I was only kidding. _

_12:45 am << Nope you killed it. The mood is gone. Sam will be back any minute. _

12:46 _am >> I’m sorry :( _

_12:46 am << It’s okay. I’m pretty tired anyway. I’m going to eat and pass out. _

_12:46 am >> I promise I will make it up to you when you get home. I’ve been studying. _

_12:47 am << I can’t wait. Night Cas _

_12:47 am >> Goodnight, Dean. _

Cas felt a minor pang of regret, he would have liked to sext with Dean. He’s not sure he would have been any good, but it’s something on his list to try. He was just settling in to spend the rest of his night reading when he gets a message from Dean telling him to “sleep” in his bed. Cas doesn’t care why Dean wants him to spend the night reading in his room, he’s more than happy to oblige.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. There is only one chapter left. Just a quick epilogue coming in a few days. Thanks so much for reading and thanks to all my great friends who helped me create this fic.

Dean threw the keys to Sam after loading their bags in the trunk. “You’re driving, Sammy.” 

Sam only glared at Dean, as if asking him if he was dying. “Don’t be ridiculous. I let you drive all the time.” 

Sam made his way to the driver’s side door. “Dean, you once drove one hundred miles with a broken elbow. You nearly blacked out from the pain before pulling over. You lectured me about riding the brakes in your sleep.” 

Dean scoffed as he closed the door behind him. “Okay, now you’re just being dramatic. I don’t talk in my sleep.” 

Sam stopped with the keys halfway to the ignition and turned to Dean. “You really believe that, don’t you?” 

Dean drew his eyebrows together. “Yes?” 

Sam let out a breathy sound that could only be described as a sarcastic non-laugh. “I thought you knew. You’ve talked in your sleep since you were like twelve. Not all the time, but when you’re really stressed or...” Sam paused to make a disgusted face. “Really, um, happy. If you know what I mean.” 

“Alright, you’ve made your point.” 

“I mean, just last night for example…”

Dean’s head snapped in the direction of Sam. He dramatically pointed his index finger at his brother. “Don’t you say it.” 

“Alright, alright. I won’t tell you how you moaned his name in your sleep.” Sam said, fighting back a smile. 

“I didn’t even dream about Cas last night. Why would I–uh–you know, do that.”  Dean deflated, leaning back against the passenger seat. 

“Before you blast your music and sulk, just hear me out okay? I know you don’t like to talk about stuff like this, so just listen.” Sam paused waiting for Dean’s confirmation. 

Dean didn’t say anything, he only nodded letting Sam know he was listening. 

“You have a shot at something real here, Dean. I think you and Cas can be really happy. But the biggest problem between you two has always been communication. Just, try okay? I know you hate talking, but when things get shitty you’ve got to try.” 

Dean felt tense all over. His muscles were coiled tight as if ready to strike out at something. He knew Sam was just looking out for him, and for Cas. If he was going to have to start talking to people, he figured he could use some practice. 

“You don’t think I know that, Sam? I don’t deserve Cas. He’s a fucking angel, and I’m just a grunt who makes more bad decisions than good. I don’t deserve him, but I’m not going to do anything to fuck this up. I mean, not on purpose anyway. If he’s dumb enough to want to be with me, I’m going to prove that I’m worthy of that. Of him.”

Sam’s posture was rigid and he gripped the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles turned white. Dean started to get nervous, wondering if he said something wrong. He somehow fucked up while declaring he didn’t want to fuck up. 

“Will you say something?” Dean demanded. 

Sam pulled over to the shoulder of the country road they were on. Dean knew this move. He and Sam have pulled over on the side of the road to fight dozens of times, but all those times––unlike now––he knew what he said to piss Sam off. It was usually intentional **.**

“Get out,” Sam said climbing out of the driver's side door. 

Dean got out, bracing himself for the first blow as Sam charged toward him. Before he knew it, Dean was wrapped in a tight hug. Sam resting his head on his shoulder like he used to do when he was a kid. He was certain he heard a sniffle. 

Finally, he wrapped his arms around Sam, squeezing him. “Okay. It’s alright, you dramatic son of a bitch.” 

Sam laughed as he pulled away. Nothing else needed to be said. The brother stared at each other for a moment. Sam nodded once and stood up straight before walking back to the car.

Once they were on the road again, the mood in the car was calm and joyous. It felt like it had been years since Dean felt so light riding next to his brother. They played the music at a respectable volume, laughed and joked most of the way. Dean sent several messages to Cas. 

_ 2:00 pm >> Sam is happy for us. He’ll kill me if I hurt you _

_ 2:02 pm >> I won’t by the way, hurt you. At least not on purpose. I’m sure I’ll fuck up a lot. But never intentionally.  _

_ 2:03 pm >> It’s easier to say this shit over text.  _

_ 2:06 pm << Dean, I doubt your brother would actually kill you, but I appreciate the sentiment. I trust you won’t intentionally hurt me, but I ask that you do the same for me.  _

_ 2:07 pm << I’ve messed up a lot over the course of our friendship. I would like to talk to you about our level of communication. Though I know you don’t like talking, we have to stop lying to each other. Is that something you can do?  _

_ 2:10 pm << Dean? _

_ 2:12 pm >> Sorry Cas. Left my phone in the car. I had to get my road food.  _

_ 2:12 pm >>Image Sent. _

_ 2:13 pm << Please tell me one of those bags of beef jerky is for Sam? I think I may need to heal your heart when you get home. _

_ 2:14 pm >> Just being home with you will be all the healing my heart needs.  _

_ 2:14 pm >> Sorry. That was bad. I am ashamed.  _

_ 2:14 pm << You should be. That was terrible.  _

_ 2:16 pm >> I’m going to hide in my shame until we get home. See you in a few hours. <3 _

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

Cas still wasn’t sure why Dean asked him to sleep in his bed, but he took that as permission to be in his room. Sam texted him half an hour ago and said they were just leaving Smith Center Diner. Cas made his way into Dean room, planning on waiting for him there. 

He only waited a few minutes before Dean came bounding into the room. Cas turned to greet him with a smile, only to be staring down the barrel of Dean’s gun. 

“Jesus, Cas. You don’t even have your wings anymore and you’re still sneaking up on me.” Dean set his gun on the nightstand and dropped facedown on the mattress groaning. “Home sweet home,” he mumbles into the blanket. 

Cas ran his fingers through the other man’s hair. “Welcome home.”

Dean looked up at Cas, reclining against the headboard and with a devilish grin, started crawling up the bed. Settling himself in Cas’ lap. 

“Hi,” Dean said leaning in to give Cas a kiss. He pulled back and flopped his head down on Cas’ shoulder, placing lazy kisses against his neck. 

“You always have been dramatic when you’re tired.” Cas laughed at his own joke, rubbing his hands down Dean’s back. 

“Shuddup.” Dean playfully bit at Cas’ neck. 

Cas threw his head back, letting out a long groan. 

“Hmmm, you like that?” Dean bit harder. 

Cas pushed his hands up under Dean’s shirt, humming in pleasure at the feel of Dean’s flesh. “I think we need to talk about a few things before we go further.”

Dean shook his head. “Not right now. We’ll talk I swear, no more lying or secrets, but can we just do this right now?” he said, reaching up to nibble on Cas’ ear. 

Cas let out a sigh. “Yes, we will talk about that later, but that wasn’t what I meant. I was thinking more along the lines of what position you would like to take? I’m willing to try either.” 

Dean jerked back, looking at Cas. “Uh, I. Ah. I’ve um, already tried both.”

“Oh, okay,” Cas said without judgment. “So then you already know if you like to top or bottom?” 

Dean nodded again. Instead of asking him to clarify, Cas took Dean’s face in his hands and planted a soft kiss on his lips. It was Dean who deepened the kiss by opening his mouth and letting his tongue slip inside Cas’.

They spent several long moments kissing with Dean rutting against Cas. The angel became frustrated with the barely-there friction and quickly undressed both Dean and himself. After they were both naked, Dean pushed him back on the bed, straddling him.  

“I know we said we would go slow and take our time when I got back, Cas. But fuck, I can’t wait. I want you so bad.” 

Cas was laying flat on his back with Dean’s knees on either side of his hips. “I can take away the pain.” He held two fingers next to Dean’s temple. 

“Yes, fuck yes. But we still need lube.” 

Cas pulled the small purple bottle out from underneath the pillow he was resting on. 

“You sneaky bastard,” said Dean, diving back in to capture Cas’ mouth. 

He lifted himself just enough to coat Cas’ cock with the cool liquid. He reached back and rubbed some over himself, before throwing the bottle next to Cas’ head. They locked eyes and held each other’s gaze for a few moments before Dean nodded once. 

Cas brushed his hand through Dean’s hair before placing his first two fingers against his temple, but before he filled Dean with grace, he smirked and moved his hand lower, resting his fingers against Dean’s wet hole.

The hunter gasped as Cas moved his grace through his body, loosening his muscles. “Fuck, Cas,” Dean cried out. “This is so fucking hot.” He swatted Cas’ hand away and grabbed the base of his cock, lining it up with his entrance. Dean slowly pushed himself down on Cas. He was moaning in breathy gasps and clinching the angel’s chest. 

Once Dean was fully seated on his cock, Cas took Dean’s fingers in his and pinched around his own nipples. “Dean!” 

“Okay, so you have sensitive nipples. Good to know.” Dean leaned forward, running his tongue across the hard nub. 

“I thought we weren’t taking it slow,” Cas growled as he grabbed Dean’s hips and pushed in deeper. 

“Oh fuck. Fuck. Do that again.” 

Cas grinned - he must have brushed Dean’s prostate. He drew back and thrust in a little harder. Dean dropped his head back, letting out a deep moan. “Yes.” 

Dean was gently rocking his hips to match Cas’ thrusts. He imagined their first time would be a little sloppy and uncoordinated. He never imagined he would be fucking Dean is if they were porn stars. 

“Ahh, if––If you keep doing that I’m going to come,” Dean warned. 

Cas tilted his head to the side, “Isn’t that the point?” 

“Yeah,” Dean panted. “But not this quick. You haven’t even touched my dick yet.” 

Cas reached for Dean’s erection, only to have his hand slapped away. “Fuck no. I’ve only ever, ahhh, ever seen this in porn. Yes, fuck. Oh shit. You’re going to make me come just like this and I’m going to die.” 

Cas laughed and quickened his pace. “You better hurry, Dean, because I’m. I can’t––” 

“I’m coming,” Dean roared. “Fuck. Yes. Yes.” 

As soon as Cas felt Dean’s cum hit his chest he let go. He felt like he was flying again. His head was light and he felt weightless, muscles clenched as if preparing for landing. 

Dean collapsed on his chest and let out a deep breath. Cas felt his cock softening and knew he would soon slip out of Dean. He read that was uncomfortable, so he did his best to numb Dean’s hole by placing a light kiss on his forehead and pushed just a bit more grace into Dean. 

“What was that for,” he asked. 

“Just trying to keep you comfortable.”

Dean nuzzled into Cas’ neck and mumbled, “Comfortable right here.” 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG it's over... I am so sad. I started writing this because I wanted to imagine Misha and Armie making out and here I am like 22K words later. I hope you liked it and thanks for sticking with me. This epilogue isn't very exciting, just wanting to close this out. I went to NashCon last weekend and wasn't able to finish it. Huge thanks to TrenchCoatBaby and EllenOfOz for helping me edit and pushing me forward. At one point I wanted to quit, but Trenchie made me keep going. The only thing I have in common with Dean Winchester is my love for nicknames (and Cas.) 
> 
> Thanks for reading. Find me on Tumblr WaywardAF67

Dean walked in next to Cas, holding his hand. He wasn't intimidated by Arnie, and his stupid tall handsome face, but he wanted anyone looking to know that Cas was off the market. What a change that had been for him, but he was proud to show anyone—even the anti-gay assholes that are notorious in Kansas—that Cas was his. 

Cas gave Dean a quick kiss before going off to meet Arnie and Edgar at a pool table. Dean was left at the bar to order a round of shots and a bucket of beer. 

“Hey Candi, I’ll have a round of whatever they were drinking,” he hooked his thumb over his shoulder pointing to the three men in the corner. 

“You got it, sweetheart.” She turned to pull a bottle of amber liquid off the shelf before adding, “So, am I seeing things, or did you finally grow some tits and ask Cas out?” 

“You know the expression is ‘grow some balls,’ right?” Dean teased. 

“Come on, Dean, you know how sensitive balls are. One little tap and you crumple to the ground. Breasts are tough, they sustain life.” She grabbed three of the shots and walked round the bar, headed towards Cas and the other men. Dean grabbed the other two and the bucket of beer and followed her. 

They passed out shots and held their glasses in the air. “Here’s to the four of you dumb assess getting your shit together, and to me for making it happen.” Candi threw back her shot as the four men gaped at her. 

Cas was the first one to speak. “What do you mean you made it happen?”

She laughed as she stroked Cas’ arm, “Oh sweetie. Why do you think I tried to get you and Arnie together? The situation couldn’t have been easier. Edgar and Dean….too scared to admit how the feel. You and Arnie...lonely and pining after men who you didn’t think wanted you. Add in jealousy and alcohol, and you get two happy relationships.”  

Dean scowled at her. “I feel violated.”

Candi threw him a wink. “Maybe you should have kept your pining a secret then. Everyone can see it. I just tried to help it along.” She walked away before any of them could  respond. 

“I feel like we should be mad and grateful at the same time. I’m confused,” Edgar said. 

Dean laughed and smacked Edgar on the back. “Come on, Jack. You rack, I’ll break.” 

“For the last time Dean, I don’t look like the guy from  _ Titanic _ .”

The four spent the night laughing and joking. He could see why Cas liked Arnie so much initially. He was fun and handsome. He wasn’t sure if Candi was joking about her role in getting the guys together, but he was grateful for it either way. Like Edgar had said, they should be mad, but he couldn’t imagine a situation where he would have stepped up and acted on his feelings for Cas. He wondered if  he should buy her a fruit basket or cookie bouquet. 

Dean offered to drive the other couple home, but Arnie insisted they walk. Dean was secretly pleased about the decision, because he was sure the second those two were in the backseat, the clothes would have started to come off. Not that he could blame them...he felt  the same way about Cas. 

They slid into the car, and Cas instantly scooted closer to Dean. The hunter was only feeling slightly buzzed, but felt he was still capable of driving. As good as Cas looked in his car, it was still hard to let someone else drive her.  

“Dean, are you mad at Candi?” Cas asked. 

“No, why would I be mad at her?” Dean briefly took his eyes off the road to meet Cas’ gaze. 

“Because she tried to manipulate you into wanting to date me. I feel angry. What if it didn’t work? If Arnie ditched me for Edgar, but she read the situation wrong and you didn’t want to be with me. I would have been out two different guys.” 

Dean reached over and placed his hand on Cas’ knee. “Dude, I get it. That could have been really fucked up, but it wasn’t. I still think she’s not quite human, maybe she knew somehow. Saw something in us that we didn’t see?” 

Cas looked over at Dean. “I think a child could have seen what I felt for you.” 

Dean laughed. “Well, I must be nothing but a baby in a leather coat then, because I had no idea.” 

“You have not worn your leather coat in several years, Dean.” Cas cocked his head to the side. 

“You’re too literal, Cas.” Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and brought his knuckles to his lips. 

They rode the rest of the way in silence. By the time Dean backed into his spot in the garage, Cas was reaching for the door handle. 

“Hey, Cas?” Dean reached over and grabbed his wrist. 

Cas turned to Dean, a contemplative expression painting his face.  

“I don’t want this to bother you. Candi stepped out of line, assuming she knew what was going on. But maybe she knew more than we thought. Maybe we, or at least I, didn’t hide it as well as I imagined. Whatever she saw, it worked. We’re together.” Dean let a smile ghost over his lips. 

Cas nodded. “I am being dramatic, but now that I know what it’s like to have this,” he gestured between the two of them, “I can’t imagine losing it.” 

Dean scooted across the seat and pulled Cas into a sweet and gentle kiss. “You don’t have to worry about that, Cas.” Dean brushed his hands through Cas’ hair, with a wistful smile. “Not even Death can keep us apart.”

Cas gasped. “Don’t tempt fate Dean. You remember how much she dislikes you. You shouldn't even joke about that.” 

“Let her try,” Dean chuckled as he took Cas’ face in both hands. “As much as I want to have you in my car, we will save that for when the bed isn’t just down the hall. C’mon, lets make my bed remember you.” 

Cas hummed and ran his tongue over Dean’s lip. “I want to do things to you your mattress will want to forget.”

Dean growled, “Bedroom. Now.” 


End file.
